


The Lost Prince Of Alderaan

by lightkylo



Series: The Lost Prince Of Alderaan [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beauty and the Beast Elements, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Non-Graphic Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24400867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightkylo/pseuds/lightkylo
Summary: A Reylo beauty and the beast AU, but with lots of twists.Rey now understood that that was a will of the force. What were the odds of a kind man with a connection to the force finding her? Most other scavengers she met would try and mob her, hit her, sometimes worse. But she always managed to survive.To this day she wonders who that man was. Tall and slender is all she remembers, no features to recognize. The only words she remembers spoken by him were a faint whisper.“You’ll be okay, sweetheart.”
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: The Lost Prince Of Alderaan [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761973
Comments: 30
Kudos: 112





	1. I Won't Be Alone Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all!  
> This is my first time writing in a long-ass time, so please bear with me. This is a beauty and the beast AU of sorts but takes place in the Star Wars Universe.  
> However, that being said, forget everything that is canon because it does not matter in this story. There will definitely be aspects of canon brought into this story, but I’m doing my own thing, so I just hope there won’t be any confusion. I really like the story I’ve come up with and I hope all you can enjoy it as well. I am truly trying my best! 
> 
> I am pretty sure I have tagged this fic correctly, however, if I make any changes to the tags I will let you all know! 
> 
> I'd also like to give a special shoutout to my betas, (e.maxity, dorky.editor, rqylo, and starssolo [IG] ! ) They gave me such great advice/tips/help/validation and I could never thank them enough! 
> 
> Instagram: darkreyy  
> Twitter: lighttkylo

Rey lived a simple life. 

The planet of Takodana was luscious, green, and different than anywhere she had ever been before. She felt forever in debt to her adopted father, a Wookie named Chewbacca, for rescuing her from slavery as a scavenger on the desert planet of Jakku when she was still a child.

Chewbacca had worked as a smuggler and was often gone for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. Every so often, a confidant or two would join him on these dangerous missions, but Chewie never let Rey meet them. He wanted to keep her out of his past and out of the messes he’d made. 

Rey and Chewie lived in a small, but comfortable hut. They had it built themselves, a few miles east of Maz Kanata’s tavern. It was discreet and they kept to themselves for the most part, but they had been there for nearly 11 years now, the regulars knew them. 

Whenever Chewie was away, Maz looked after Rey. She taught her how to read and write properly, and all of the other academics and skills needed to survive. 

Rey had been working as a waitress in Maz’s tavern for a few years now. Maz had taken a liking to the young girl and as much as Chewie insisted she didn’t need to work, Rey wanted to pay her way. She was an adult, so there wasn’t much else for her to do anyway. 

She usually liked her job, she got along with most people, Maz loved her, but she was different, stood out like a sore thumb. Rey was one of the only humanoids that were local to the tavern. Her appearance alone caused people to notice her, make up stories about her. On top of that, Rey was far too advanced to be working at a tavern, she knew what people wanted to order without asking. She could levitate plates with her mind and serve drinks from the other side of the tavern. She quickly became an outcast because of these abilities, and Maz and Chewie saw fit to quickly put her “tricks” to rest, but no one had forgotten, and they still whispered sometimes. 

At first, Rey didn’t know the danger she was creating for herself. She had discovered these abilities when she was about seventeen. She had always felt this sensation, this building power inside of her, but never knew what it would become. 

Until one day, it came to life. She awoke in hot sweats and flung nearly every item off of the shelves in her hut. Chewie seemed to know what was happening. But he refused to talk about it with her. 

“Chewie what’s happening to me? I know you know something!” 

_It’s not my place. I’d ignore it if I were you._ He had said to her. 

Frustrated with his lack of response, she went to Maz, who of course had all the answers. 

Maz acted somewhat excited for her and moved forward with caution. Maz treated her new “power” as a blessing in disguise. 

She had called it the _force._

_“You mean like the Jedi? Like Luke Skywalker?” Rey had asked when Maz was telling her._

__

__

_“Hush child. Be careful where you say those words. You may have been blessed with this feeling, but you mustn't expose yourself. Not in a time like this.” She told Rey._

Rey, however, did not know that that meant not using these newly discovered abilities. She only thought she shouldn’t say the word jedi in front of others and Rey found joy in testing her limits with what she was able to accomplish in the force. She was very wrong. 

After a few days of showing off in the tavern, she never made that mistake again. But all the locals still talked about the waitress who made plates fly. 

That’s when Maz told her about the Jedi. How they had been destroyed, years ago. People feared any living being with the force because for the first time in decades, there was peace. They now lived in a democracy and had erased all past fear of a galactic civil war. Things in the galaxy were not perfect, they never would be. But since the abolition of the jedi, there were groups of people who hunted and killed any suspected force users out of fear of a recurring war. There was barely any truth to it, but once the jedi order disappeared, so did the empire. There wasn’t any true news reported, it was a mystery to all, but they were appreciating the peace and didn’t want it to ever leave. 

Maz had then told her stories of all the major planets, the history of the jedi, and the sith. Every myth and legend that involved the force. Maz made it clear that she should never tell another soul of the stories she heard, for her protection and for others. Maz had told Rey and made her swear to never talk about it to another soul. 

After a few months, Rey had learned to not ask Chewie any more questions. She would only receive lectures in return.

The first time Rey tried to bring it up with him she had brought showed him how she could make him breakfast just using her mind, she sat next to him as a loaf of bread flew through the air. Chewie’s eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of his skull. 

_Never do that again, he said._

“It’s just a trick Chewie! It could make life so much easier!” She whined. 

_It seems like that now, but I promise you, with the force, comes a burden. Trust me, you don’t want that._

Instead, she tested her strength in the force deep in the woods, in secret. She already had much experience in fighting with a staff, so she continued to train, focusing on the waves of emotion and strength she received with the force. Occasionally Chewie agreed to spar with her. 

Other times she meditated, trying to let this newfound energy flow through her, but it didn’t come easy. She felt the force flow from her toes to her fingertips, but the sensation didn’t calm her. She felt on edge and throbbing with strength. It was nearly impossible for her to calm her body and mind. Her life, which for so long, she had spent fighting, starving, and struggling to survive, had only now started to slow down. 

She remembers it like it was yesterday, the fear and memories returning often in her nightmares. Since her relationship with the force had grown stronger, she felt her nightmares and flashbacks of her days on Jakku getting worse. The memories were much more vivid and her old life haunted her to this day.

There were many times where she thought she would die while living on Jakku. Sometimes from starvation, other times heat exposure or injuring herself while scavenging fallen ships and speeders. At just eight years old she had fallen down a shaft while scavenging the wreckage of some massive freighter. Her thigh was cut open deep, blood flowing out of her. She had tied one of her armbands around the cut in an attempt to stop the bleeding, but she would never be able to stand. 

A man found her there, a fellow scavenger, she presumed. His mask was black but definitely self-constructed. Half made of thick cloth, the other parts of leather. It covered his nose and mouth, his head covered by his hood. One curly strand of black hair laid across his forehead, and he had deep chocolate brown eyes. She memorized the shape of them as he kneeled next to her, until she passed out from the pain and loss of blood. 

He carried her to safety after because she woke up in his care at Niima Outpost. When she came to, her leg had been stitched up. He never took off his mask. 

He was starting to remove the stitches. She didn’t understand why at the time. But she’ll never forget how he then laid his hand on her leg and moments later her cut had diminished to barely a scab. 

She looked up at him with wide eyes, as if she was trying to burn a hole through his black mask. So curious as to who this mysterious man was. Niima outpost had taught her to keep to herself, but she was about to ask him how he had managed to heal her, but she never got the chance. He was gone before she could even open her mouth.. 

Rey now understood that that was a will of the force. What were the odds of a kind man with a connection to the force finding her? Most other scavengers she met would try and mob her, hit her, sometimes worse. But she always managed to survive. 

To this day she wonders who that man was. Tall and slender is all she remembers, no features to recognize except for those eyes. His eyes still haunted her dreams at times. The only words she remembers spoken by him were a faint whisper. 

_“You’ll be okay, sweetheart.”_

This was the first time Rey can ever remember receiving compassion from anyone. She was saved by a man that knew nothing about her, a man that was also probably struggling to make his way. Rey was used to being extorted for things, used and lied to. But for the first time in her life, no one asked for anything in return. She still wondered why a stranger had shown her such generosity, and that was the day she decided to live her life as kind and hopeful as possible. And from that day on she was convinced that if she lived just like that man had, she would hope to get the same in return. 

She wasn’t sure how to explain it, but she knew that the force was with her, even then. Keeping her safe. She felt as if it spoke to her sometimes. _Be strong Rey. Keep going Rey._

She lived by those words still. No matter what kind of hardships reached her, or how much she wanted to give up, she refused. 

Life in Takodana was boring at times, but Rey was grateful. She didn’t have much, but she had an adopted father who took care of her and a roof over her head. Unconditional love from him perhaps, something she couldn’t even fathom. 

The one downside to Takodana was the lack of children and teenagers. Rey was even more lonely growing up there as a child. There were some locals there, an abundance of drunk alien species, criminals on the run, or estranged families, but most of the time the tavern was filled with people just passing through. 

Rey never understood why Chewie and she stayed there, or why they had to keep a low profile. He’d leave, but never let her go with him because it was too dangerous. She understood, but at times the loneliness would remind her of her life on Jakku, and the fear in the back of her mind never disappeared. She had a constant worry of losing her small family, of being truly alone once again. 

She had Maz, but she was more like a teacher, and Chewie a parent. No best friends, no one to confide in. It was always just Rey. She was grateful for her life, for Chewie, she would never be so selfish as to complain.

The day Chewie had found her had been like any other. She had just got back from her day of scavenging an old imperial AT-AT, from the days of the empire. She bargained her scraps for two portions, which her Master, Unkar Plutt, almost hadn’t agreed to. In annoyance, Rey had spit at the man and called him a scam. As punishment he’d come out of his shop and grabbed Rey’s arm, dragging her to the back door. 

She screamed and kicked, and bit his fingers, but she was only a small, malnourished girl. The unmistakable roar of a Wookie filled her ears, and to this day that sound has been music to her ears, the best sound in the galaxy. 

Chewie had ripped off Plutts’ arm and asked where her family was. 

When Rey explained to him, at only ten years old, that she was alone, he gave her a choice. Chewie was in Jakku searching for a stolen ship, turns out Plutt had it all along. So, Rey helped him steal it back and left with the Wookie, leaving everything she ever knew behind. 

Rey doesn’t regret her choice, not in the slightest, but she can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like to grow up in an academy, with other children, or parents who loved her and who she could come home to every day 

She could fantasize as much as she wanted, but it would never change the fact that her parents abandoned her. They threw her away like garbage and didn’t look back. So Rey decided to cherish the life she had, make the best of it all and never take people like Maz or Chewie for granted. 

She had to make the most of what she had, she always did. She had accepted that she would forever be curious about the world around her, and that was all she could be for now. 

-

Rey cleared her and Chewie’s plates after eating dinner at the tavern. Once she sat back down he had told her that he would be gone for approximately two days. 

He wouldn’t explain much, but he said he had a solo delivery run to the planet of Mustafar. 

Rey’s eyes grew large as she remembered the cursed stories of Mustafar and the sith that had once lived there. 

“Chewie, isn’t that a dead planet? What could you possibly have to deliver there?” She said in a hushed tone. 

Chewie brushed her off, scolding for the questions, and stood up to leave. She was determined to get to the bottom of this one, even if she had to drag it out of Maz herself. 

-

It had been 3 days since Chewie had left, and she awaited his arrival. Night came and Chewie did not. 

She knew from the past that sometimes it did take an extra day or so if problems or travel issues came up, so she didn’t think much about it at first. 

Another day passed, and then another. Almost a week had gone by and Rey still hadn’t heard from or seen Chewie. She stayed up the entire day, attempting and failing to keep herself occupied so she didn’t worry. 

That night her fear got the best of her and she couldn’t sleep.

Rey found herself running to Maz’s in the middle of the night, her concern now outweighing her patience. 

She couldn’t explain how she knew, but she did know that Chewie was in trouble and needed her. It was like a pit in her stomach that was slowly eating away at her. 

“Maz? Maz, wake up!” Rey screamed, using the force to unlock her door. 

“Child, it is the middle of the night, what are you doing at this hour?” She scolded, reaching for her glasses. 

Rey sat on the bed next to her, “It’s officially been a week. I need to go after him.” 

“It’s not safe Rey.” Maz states. 

Rey sighs deeply and tries to fold her hands together to stop the shaking. A tension developed in the front of her head, which happens often as she becomes flustered. It takes every ounce of her to stop herself from imploding with frustration. 

She takes a deep breath to contain herself before speaking again. 

“I’m aware. That’s why I need to go and save him. It’s a feeling— I know something is wrong. I also know there is something you’re not telling me. Please help me Maz, we can’t lose him.” She exclaims, and for the first time in years, lets a tear roll down her cheek. 

Maz stays quiet for a moment too long, grabbing her hand and offering a half-smile. 

“Chewie comes from a lot of baggage my dear. A lot of people you don’t know about. He never wanted to get you all mixed up in his family drama.” Maz told her. 

The tension in her head becomes worse. Rey is on the verge of losing it but continues her breathing. She refuses to let herself snap at Maz.

“Family drama? What family? I don’t even care about that, I just need to go after him.” Rey feels herself growing more frustrated. The one time someone is willing to give her answers, she doesn’t care, she just wants to leave. 

“Child you remember the legend of Mustafar, don’t you?” She asks. 

“Yes. The siths captivated the planet generations ago, it’s filled with dark side force energy.” 

“Not that, the other legend?” 

“I don’t recall another,” Rey says honestly. 

“They say that the castle of Mustafar was dead, but years ago became alive again, with a new generation of force users. They say a cursed sith lives in the castle there, a real beast. Strong in the dark side of the force, waiting for hunters to come so he can destroy them.” Maz explains. 

“You said Chewie was there because of past family drama? Why did you bring that up? Why is he actually there?” 

“Beats me. That’s all he told me. Chewie’s adopted family has a history in the force. He thinks he’ll find a lead there.” 

“Even with the possible danger you just described to me? That’s insane Maz. He can’t protect himself!” Rey grew nervous, sweat dripping down her brow. 

“Calm down Rey. We don’t even know if these stories are true. It was years ago when I learned of it. He’s probably fine. He’s probably just having ship troubles” Maz reassures. 

“Then let me go to him. Let me take your ship and give me his coordinates. If it’s just his ship I’ll pick him up and we’ll be back. Maz, you need to let me go.” 

“Rey, you’re too important for anyone to lose. You don’t know what’s out there.” Maz rests her arm on Rey’s shoulder. 

She suddenly feels bad for wanting to abandon Maz, a lady who’s done nothing but taught her and cared for her. 

“Please. Maz, I’m an adult. I’ve never seen anything or met anyone. If I don’t go now I never will, and who knows what will happen to Chewie if I don’t. I’ve been on my own before and I know I’ll make it. I don’t want to go without your blessing, but I will. You know I can.” 

Maz playfully rolls her eyes at Rey and slowly gets up. She shuffles over to her side table and pulls out her keys and a folded envelope. 

Her arm reaches out to Rey. 

“Go, before I change my mind. Be careful my child.”


	2. It Is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here’s one memory that keeps popping up. An important day for you. You felt compassion, kindness. I see you falling, thinking you were about to die-” He finally pulls away from her and she feels the hold on her mind released. 
> 
> A hot breath leaves her and she’s covered in sweat and tears. 
> 
> She can even hear him breathing heavily like he’s found something he shouldn’t have. 
> 
> His mask lifts towards her, and he takes a step back. 
> 
> “It is you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! In the midst of the world right now, I wanted to post this chapter to maybe give some sense of escapism and enjoyment despite of everything. However, by any means to not be distracted, do not forget about what is happening. Please check out my twitter and my Instagram for petitions, donation links, and more information in order to support the black lives matter movement! 
> 
> Again, a special thanks to my betas. I love y'all. I couldn't do any of this without you. 
> 
> This chapter was really fun to write because *spoiler* THEY meet! Anyways, happy reading!

Mustafar was by far the most disturbing place Rey had ever laid eyes on. 

The scene was littered with debris. Burnt arches left from ruined buildings, mixed with a cloud of dark smoke that filled the air like a thick fog, and between it all was a steady stream of boiling lava flowing through the outer core of the planet, like a river.

However, the sight of it was nothing compared to the intense feeling Rey got the minute she entered its atmosphere. Her chest felt tight… strained, with a large sense of unease. 

From the moment she landed on Mustafar she heard this kind of buzzing sound. Rey felt it vibrating in her bones. Maz was right though, the force’s presence was certainly strong on this planet. Rey felt a pit in her stomach that she could only assume was the darkness that lived here. 

Maz’s ship could be defined as vintage, ancient maybe. It reminded Rey of a Corellian light freighter, but smaller, and frankly Rey was afraid to ask how she obtained it or how in the hell it still flew. But it did and Rey was that much closer to Chewie, so she wasn’t about to complain. 

She saw Chewie’s ship and decided to land next to it. The sight of it made her heart race and that familiar feeling of fear seep into her. As soon as she landed she ran into his ship. She grew nervous because she didn’t sense him at all. 

“Chewie!” She called out. The echo of her voice was the only thing that responded to her. 

An alarming sense of panic filled her conscience. Yet, she knew not to dwell on the feeling, and take action.

Back in Maz’s ship she grabs her cloak, straps her holster and blaster on, and secures her staff before leaving. 

As she ventured on the cracked grey path, surrounded by molten, the buzzing grew louder. For some reason, she felt like it was where she was supposed to go, but she couldn’t explain why. 

Maz had mentioned a dark force user ruled this planet, all just myths and stories of course, but even so, there was a part of Rey that was nervous as to who she’d run into. She knew she was able to defend herself if need be, but she was also aware of the fact that if it came to a fight between her and a dark-sider, she would not win. 

As she ventured further into the planet she kept her hand on top of her blaster, she didn’t feel like taking any risks. 

The planet looked vacant and felt lifeless. The contrast between Takodana and Mustafar was almost hard to comprehend. Rey felt herself missing the vibrant colors and fresh air of home and it hadn’t even been a day. The planet was neither hot or cold to her, just unpleasant. She began to feel as if she took for granted the warm, but mild humidity from home. 

She stayed on the path and the amount of lava lessened as she approached a dead forest. Burnt trees with no foliage, just branches, and black marks. 

It wasn’t a large forest, but it shared the same sense of unease. Through the tops of the trees, she saw part of a castle. As she progressed further into the forest it came to a clearing. The castle was suddenly in a much closer view. It was the largest building Rey had ever seen. The grey smog of the planet covered the black towers of the building. 

The corridor was surprisingly open, covered in gravel, and Rey felt it crunching beneath her boots. There was a giant staircase leading up into the castle and a part of her didn’t want to go any further. 

She didn’t want to admit it to herself, but she was scared. The castle was the opposite of inviting, and she couldn’t shake the bad feeling she had about the planet. She had to gather herself, convince herself that it was all for Chewie. That seemed to lessen her fear. 

The buzzing sound had nearly gone away, but the pit in her stomach grew larger. 

She sucked in a giant breath before approaching the steps, but she didn’t get very far. Footsteps suddenly were in earshot and Rey grabbed her staff and turned around. 

Five, maybe six figures in masks approached her. All having a variety of weapons drawn. One approached her first and she jabbed her staff into their chest. They fell backward and then she turned her attention to the next, however, the rest started to surround her. She didn’t even have time to think before she started swinging her staff. 

She felt a ferocity flow through her. She wasn’t sure if it was from the fear or the adrenaline, or maybe it was just her instinct to test her ability without looking over her shoulder. She knocks another man out to her left and lets out a scream pushing another man out of the way using the most energy she’s ever wielded. 

She can sense that some of them are regaining their balance and are going to surround her again. Twisting her staff she hits one more in the chest, but the other man on her right knocks her knee causing her to fall over, losing her balance and her weapon. 

Another masked man approaches her and the only thing she can think to do is grab her blaster and aim for his leg. She’s not even sure if she hit him before she sees him fall to the ground and she hears a groan leave him. 

She almost feels bad for hitting him until another one of the men charges at her. Before she can react he hits the blaster out of her hand, leaving her weapon-less. The man swings an ax-like weapon above his head and she covers her face as if it would stop the blow. She scrunches her features and closes her eyes as if she’s waiting for the hit. However, it never comes. 

The same humming noise from earlier becomes prominent again, and when she looks up at the masked man she sees his body frozen in place, his weapon just inches away from her face. Moments later he’s being pushed back and slams into the ground. The rest of the men suddenly stand up straight and drop their weapons. 

Rey slowly lifts herself from the ground and sees something—someone, truly frightening. 

A tall man, probably the tallest man she’s ever seen with the exception of Chewbacca. His face was covered by a narrow black mask. His head was lowered, perhaps he was looking at her. She stood up slowly, eerie of her surroundings. 

As she stared at his man he looked almost majestic, evilly beautiful. He was so broad, the confidence protruding off of him. His cape blew behind him in the wind. Interrupting her thoughts, he ignited his weapon— she recognized it as a weapon that she had only read about, only imagined. A fiery red lightsaber appeared it’s ray glowing aggressively and reflecting off of the man’s all-black attire. 

Rey couldn’t take her eyes off of him, she wasn’t sure what to do. 

“What brings you here, trespasser?” His voice spoke, a deep and echoed voice. She couldn’t really tell if he was a man after all, maybe a droid, maybe some type of alien. 

She found herself not knowing what to say. She was too mesmerized in his appearance, and something even more prominent, his signature in the force. 

“I am looking for my fa- for a wookie. I have come to find him. I don’t- I don’t mean trouble, I’ll just find him and leave.” She trembles. 

“I don’t think that’s going to happen.” His voice responds, and his tone is almost comical. 

She doesn’t reply. She just looks back at him, her hands are in fists, she doesn’t have to look to know that her knuckles are turning white. 

He approaches her slowly, his saber still ablaze. She can’t see his eyes, but she can feel his gaze. He looks her up and down as if he’s studying her, walking around her, circling like prey until she can feel him behind her. She’s still too afraid to move. 

His arm stretches out, and he places his lightsaber inches away from her neck. 

Her breath hitches, and she’s suddenly aware of how overwhelming his presence is. 

“You saved me from that man and for what reason? You’re just going to kill me now.” She finds herself saying as if she has no control over what’s coming out of her mouth. 

“Who said anything about killing you?” 

He draws back his lightsaber and she hears him click it back onto his belt. She thinks this is her chance, while he’s distracted. She takes a step forward and prepares to run, but she is stopped by something stronger than her. 

She’s breathing so hard she can hear it, wincing at the agonizing feeling of not being able to move. 

He’s coming closer to her again. This time, his hand near her face. She tries to look away from him, not wanting him to see her fear. 

The next thing she knows, she's falling, still not in control of her body. The last thing she’s aware of is an arm around her and a blinding flash to her eyes and her feet left the ground. Then her world fades and her mind becomes blank. 

\--

When she awoke, the cold metal of the restraints sent a shiver up her spine. It was a strange sensation, becoming re-aware of herself. It wasn’t a slow awareness either, it was like a bolt hit her and she was jolted awake at lightning speed, all her senses returning to her.

In an attempt to sit up she was pulled back by the restraints on her arms and legs, her head slamming back against the steel. 

Once she gives up trying to wiggle her way out of the chair, she feels him before she sees him. 

The tall masked man was kneeling in front of her. He begins to stand once he notices she’s now conscious. 

“Where am I?” she asks, anxiety emerging in his presence. 

He stands up even straighter at her words: “You’re my guest.” 

“I find that hard to believe.” She snaps. Rey isn’t sure where her confidence is coming from. The feral feeling from earlier is still there and she is not about to submit to a being who won’t even show his face. 

She could swear she hears him chuckle from under his mask. 

“You’re filled with such anger. I can sense it. Why is that?” He says it so calmly it irritates her further. 

“That’s what happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask?” She responds. 

“Is that what you think I am? A creature?” He asks. 

“I don’t care what you are. I just want to get my father and leave this god awful bloody planet.” 

“Your father? Do you mean the wookie? That’s not your father.” 

Her face is heating up as he speaks, out of both frustration and embarrassment. Chewie is her father, but the reminder of her lineage feels like a stab in the throat, one she wasn’t expecting to deal with today. 

“So you do have him?” She says carefully, not wanting to let her emotions get the best of her. If she wants to get Chewie back she needs to speak wisely, as he would. 

“I do. But he broke my laws, he trespassed in my castle, much like you did. “I don’t take well to uninvited guests, he is now my prisoner.” He says, still too calm for her liking. 

“Well, you said yourself I am your guest. If I am welcome, then I would like him released.”

“You’re not welcome. You nearly took out four of my guards with a simple staff and shot the other in the leg. Who, if you must know is in the infirmary as we speak.” 

“Then why am I your guest?” Rey sneered. 

“Because if you can hold your own against my guards then there is more to you than what meets the eye.” He says. 

She doesn’t respond now. She can’t think of how to debate with him. Her eyes stick to him though, trying to read his next move, which proves to be impossible. 

He comes closer to her, faster than she thinks it’s possible for one to move. His hand is near her face like earlier, his fingers slightly bent. 

At first, she feels nothing, and then it’s like a string is pulling at her brain. 

It takes her a moment too long to realize what he’s doing. He’s digging through her memories, pushing through her thoughts as if they’re a book, like his own personal story. 

She grits her teeth but it does nothing. The pain strengthens as he continues to drill through her brain. 

She hadn’t even realized that this was a possible ability in the force. Maz had briefly told her about hypnotization and compelling using the force, the dark side of the force. But she had never mentioned gazing into anyone’s thoughts and sorting through it. 

“Ah Rey. Odd name.” He paused briefly. 

“You’re so lonely. So afraid to be alone.” He continues as if he’s telling her own story. 

“Stop.” She mumbles, trying to push him out. 

“Chewbacca? He’s like a father to you. You don’t need him, trust me.” He keeps going, his hold on her mind too strong. 

“You don’t know him.” She breathes out. 

“Hmm, when did you know you were one with the force? — Oh wait, as a teenager, but your talents were frowned upon. That’s a shame. You could be so powerful.” He says. 

The tears that were hiding earlier have now broken free and she felt a few begin to fall down her cheeks. 

“You want the wookie back, yes that’s true, but there’s more to the story. You want adventure. You want to explore your abilities, but you don’t want to be without your family. I’ve never met someone who is so afraid to be alone. You can do better, you know? Chewbacca, he’s weak. One of the weakest men I know.” He continues. 

“How do you know him?” her curiosity gets the best of her, not understanding who he is and why he’s doing this to her. 

“Not important, but it is the truth. Let’s see what else is there.” He inches closer, and she feels him jabbing back too far, something she’s been keeping away. He was mocking her. 

The pain becomes too much and the walls she’s been trying to hold up are becoming weaker. 

“Jakku? Interesting. What a barren planet. A scavenger, no, a survivor. You’ve been close to death, but you never surrender to it.” He whispers. 

Her tears continue to flow, she closes her eyes as if it would help them stop coming.

“Here you are, just a young child, maybe four or five. You were so small. You’re in tears, hungry, burnt from the sun. Jakku really is an awful place.” 

“Get out of my head.”

“You have trouble admitting to your past. You like to pretend your parents loved you, that you weren’t abandoned.” He continues. 

She remains silent at this, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing this part of her. 

“Here’s one memory that keeps popping up. An important day for you. You felt compassion, kindness. I see you falling, thinking you were about to die-” He finally pulls away from her and she feels the hold on her mind released. 

A hot breath leaves her and she’s covered in sweat and tears. 

She can even hear him breathing heavily like he’s found something he shouldn’t have. 

His mask lifts towards her, and he takes a step back. 

“It is you.” 

He looks at her for a long time. She can’t break the contact from him, she feels a pull towards him that she can’t avoid. Rey is confused by his words. What does he mean it’s you? She’s trying to put together reasonings in her mind. Maybe because she has the force? She doesn’t really understand his meaning, maybe it’s his phrasing. 

Before she can even think to respond he’s gone, a heavy metal door slamming shut behind him.  
-

Hours have passed. Rey’s body feels sore from the refines of the chair. She can feel dirt along her face and that her hair is falling out of its three buns, but it’s the least of her concerns at the moment. 

Fighting her exhaustion suddenly became easy because she had too many questions. She is curious as to how Chewie is doing or if he’s even alive. 

How does this man or person know Chewie? He seems like he knew her or saw something he wasn’t supposed to while traveling through her mind. Partially she didn’t care. Her vulnerability should frighten him, she was glad it did. 

It wasn’t much longer before she heard the lock on the door being opened, the heavy door slowly opening. 

He was back. 

“Here to kill me now?” Rey lifted her head, trying to portray a look of arrogance. 

“No. Not yet, little scavenger. I have a proposition for you.” He responds, his temper returned to the cool and collected state from earlier. 

“The answer is probably no.” Rey made sure to display no emotion, she wanted to copy his calmness from earlier. 

“I think you’ll change your mind.” He responded. 

“Unlikely.” She is avoiding eye contact once again. 

“I will let the wookie go if you agree to stay.” He says. 

“Why would I do that? Why would I become your prisoner and never see Chewie again? That doesn’t seem like a deal at all.” She replies. 

Her eyebrows scrunch in irritation, how dumb does he think she is?

“You didn’t let me finish. You can be of benefit to me. You are strong with the force, untrained, but stronger than you know. I can teach you, I can train you.” He offers, it’s as if she can see the gears in his mind turning as he speaks. 

His voice became lower when he made his offer. She thinks if she was able to see whatever face was hiding behind that horrid mask, he’d look sad, almost desperate.  
The thought of delving into her connection with the force did something to her. She felt a jolt of impulsion flow through her bones, she almost had to stop herself from just screaming out that she agreed. 

She couldn’t even begin to think what it would be like to leave Chewie, to never see him or Maz again. She finally looked at his mask, studying him as best she could. 

“You really think I’d want to accept your proposition after you tortured me? After you invaded my mind? Did you really think I would agree to never see him again? He’s the only family I’ve ever known!” She’s loud, she knows she is. But as curious as she is about this man and his intentions, she’s also angry. She can’t hide her emotions from him. 

“I know you want to accept. You can’t hide that from me.” He said blankly. 

Rey couldn’t agree to his conditions. Becoming one with the force was not equal to having no one, no family. She knew well enough that all the power in the world didn’t equate to the love of others. 

“You-you're a beast.” She grits through her teeth, feeling defeated. He knows her intentions before she does, and yet she doesn’t know his. 

“If you train with me, you can have whatever you want. I’ll train you to the best of my ability, and then I will let you decide what to do, go back to your wookie, or whomever you want after.” For some reason, he’s bargaining with her. 

“Why even let me stay if you’re going to let me leave eventually? What’s so special about me?” She was genuinely baffled at his offer. Why even train her in the first place?

“Don’t you want to learn the ways of the force? Learn how to fight, protect yourself from anything?” He took a while to respond like he wasn’t really sure why he wanted her there. 

“I don’t have anything to be protected from.” She said. 

“You will. There are hunters all over the galaxy, heavily armored, heavily trained. One word that you’re force sensitive and they’d kill you without a second thought.” He told her. 

“I’ve been fine for the last twenty-one years. But what makes you so qualified to train me?” She asks him.

“I’ve been training in the force since I could walk, I’m sure there’s something I could teach you. Take advantage of the gift you have and I’ll protect you. Accept my offer and the world can be yours. Please, Rey.”

There’s a hint of agony in his voice, Rey felt a surge of empathy. She couldn’t be sure, but she felt he didn’t have much else to live for. How rewarding could the dark side of the force really be? Who did he even have here? The guards? 

“Fine. But promise me that I’ll be allowed to leave when my training is complete and that Chewbacca will be set free?”

“You have my word.” He says and kneels back down in front of her. 

Then it is quiet, neither of them speaks, just a silent agreement. She can’t take her eyes off him now, not anymore. 

The only sound between them is the sound from the metal restraints, releasing her from their hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should click this! https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/


	3. You're Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you doing?” He asked her, just staring at her.
> 
> “Sitting in my cell. I’m kind of your prisoner, remember?” She sarcastically snapped, wiping away her tears. 
> 
> “You’re not a prisoner, you were never going to be.” He said, walking over to her and grabbing her arm lightly. 
> 
> His voice became less aggressive, “It was never my intention to make you feel like one. You are here to train, as my apprentice, nothing else,” he added.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I hope you're doing well. 
> 
> I wanted to say I love where this fic is going and I'm happy with how it's turning out, so I hope you are enjoying it as well. 
> 
> Special thanks to Emma, Macy, Lynnaea, and Charly, the best betas! I appreciate yall so much.

The man’s hands have a tight grip on Rey’s arm. 

She had somehow convinced him to let her bid farewell to Chewie, and they were on the way to his cell. 

“Can you get your hands off of me? I can walk perfectly well on my own.” She said to him. 

“How do I know you won’t try anything? You may be untrained, but you handled yourself well against my guards.” He replied. 

“As long as you keep your word, I’ll keep mine.” She turned to look at him, momentarily forgetting that he had on a mask. She gave him a look of sympathy. 

For whatever reason, for the first time since arriving on Mustafar, Rey doesn’t feel afraid. She feels intrigued, a little confused, extremely anxious, but not afraid. 

Although her decision to leave Chewie and train with the masked man has not been easy to make, she feels some regret. She knows Chewie is not going to let her go easily, but she keeps thinking about something Maz had told her a few years ago.

_“I know you want to explore this connection, but it’s not safe.” She said to Rey._

_“Then what is even the point? If the force is in me and I can’t even use it, it’s useless.” She remembers snarking back._

_“Don’t speak like that! Having a connection to the force comes with a certain responsibility. One day your destiny will find you, and it’ll be there for you. You’ll need it.”_

Rey didn’t think twice about Maz’s words until now. Of course, she didn’t want to leave her family behind, but maybe this is what Maz was talking about... maybe this was her destiny. 

-

They approached a dark hallway and Rey felt chills go up her spine and her body twitched under the man’s grasp. 

“Open the door to the Wookie.” He yelled out to some guards who became more visible as they got closer. 

She heard Chewie’s groan before she saw him. 

He got louder once they turned the corner and Rey came into his vision. 

Not surprising to Rey, the first thing he did was scold her, something along the lines of _Why the hell did you come here?_

“Really? Right now?” She asked. 

She looked at the tall man, “Can I please have a moment alone with him?” 

“Fine. Lock the door.” He said to the guards. 

The guards left, shutting the door behind them and Chewie engulfed her in a hug. 

“I’m so glad you’re alright.” She breathed out, squeezing him harder. 

She released him and grabbed his hands, she knew explaining the situation to him would not be easy. 

“Chewie, look, I’m staying here, but the man in the mask agreed to let you go.”

He opened his mouth and then stopped himself. He had a sad look in his eyes that Rey had never seen before.

“Chewie, how do you know him?” She asked him quietly, remembering the earlier conversation between her and the man. 

He growled out, _An old family friend. He isn’t safe, Rey. I don’t want you to stay._

Rey was shocked by his calm demeanor, which wasn’t like Chewie at all, he just looked broken and full of regret.  
“Look, I don’t want to leave you, but it’s the only way to set you free. He said if I trained with him then after my training was complete I could go back to you.” She explained. 

His silence was starting to worry her, instead of speaking he wrapped her in another hug. 

“I’m sorry. We’ll see each other again, I promise. Thank you for being a father to me. I love you, Chewbacca.” She felt tears starting to swell and was ready to blame the force connection of this damned planet for the lack of control she had over her emotions. 

He looked at her, putting his hands on her shoulders and bent down to touch his forehead against hers and she gave him a slight smile in return. 

She heard movement outside the door, she had a strong feeling they were being listened to. 

She leaned into him and whispered: “Chewie, do you know what happened to him? Who is he?” She knew there had to be more to the story, why else would Chewie not be giving her more of a fight.

She was abruptly interrupted as the man came barging through the door. Chewie made a loud outburst at his intrusion. 

The gruesome mask met her vision and she rolled her eyes at him, knowing her assumption was correct. He didn’t want her to know how he knew Chewie, she figured that much.

“That’s enough.” the masked man said, the guards coming in after them. 

“Escort him to his ship, unharmed,” he added, as the guards placed binders around his arms. 

He growled out to her one more time as he was being pulled away, and Rey immediately felt like a helpless child again. 

The sight of her parental figure getting yanked from her left Rey hopeless, unable to respond. She felt her knees growing weak, and the tears continued to form as Chewie’s sounds became fainter. 

“You did the right thing.” the man said to her, deadpanned. 

Rey turned away from him and went to go sit in the chair that was in the small cell. 

“What are you doing?” He asked her, just staring at her. 

“Sitting in my cell. I’m kind of your prisoner, remember?” She sarcastically snapped, wiping away her tears. 

“You’re not a prisoner, you were never going to be.” He said, walking over to her and grabbing her arm lightly. 

His voice became less aggressive, “It was never my intention to make you feel like one. You are here to train, as my apprentice, nothing else,” he added. 

“Fine. I can get up myself!” She said, yanking from his grasp. 

He does this much too often, and she has only known him for a few hours. His demeanor changes dramatically as if he’s letting himself be vulnerable and decent for just a moment, and he’ll remember who he is. His walls shot back up faster than they went down. 

His posture got straighter, he let out a heavy breath and released her arm, rushing to beat her to the door.  
-

She followed him up three flights of stairs. 

She came to notice that the entire castle was poorly lit, darkness flooded every hallway, every room. Small candles lined the walls, along with portraits of old men. Each looked similar, old and wrinkled, some different colors or different species than others, but all had matching yellow eyes that made Rey feel uneasy. 

The end of this particular hallway featured a small and stout man, his face wrinkled like no other, it almost looked as if he had scales. He had to be at least a hundred years old. His eyes burned gold with specks of red, his skin was so pale he looked like a ghost. A silk black robe was wrapped around him, and the smirk on his face was so potent, Rey feared the image would never leave her brain.

After what felt like forever they came to a large door, luckily far from the hall of monstrous men. It was a dark shade of red and at least 8 feet high as if the castle was built for the tall man specifically. 

The eerie feeling from outside hadn’t returned. The castle was grim and cold, but she didn’t feel the darkness anymore. Since she had been in another force user's presence, the masked man specifically, all she could feel was him. 

Force signatures were one of the few things Rey was rehearsed in. It wasn’t very hard to notice another, and Maz happened to have an old book on force presence. She would occasionally use the feeling to see who was planning to leave before paying at the tavern. 

His signature in the force was strange. It was extremely strong, and for some reason warm. She felt almost overheated from it, his vibration felt like a magnet, connecting himself to her. It was overwhelming. Rey partially believed this is what was compelling her to stay, from the will of the force alone.

She doesn’t even realize she’s stopped in her tracks because she’s focusing on him so much until he speaks to her. 

“Don’t worry. I feel it too.” He said, his tone so hushed and soft she almost thinks it’s a different person. 

He finds herself staring at him again, thinking she’ll be able to get through that mask. 

“Here is your room.” He says, his voice returning to it’s monotoned state, opening the door. 

She peers inside before walking in hesitantly. The room is bigger than her and Chewie’s entire hut in Takodana. The walls are made of black stone, and the floor is a dark tile that matches. There is a bed in the middle of the room, probably the largest bed she’s ever seen, and the sheets are of course that same dark red that painted the door. 

She hears his footsteps behind her as she ventures in. 

“Do you have anything you need from your ship? Clothes or other personal items?” He breaks the silence. 

“Uh no, I didn’t bring anything. It was supposed to be a short trip, but I would like my staff back.” She says and it comes out slightly snarkier than she intends. 

“Of course. I’ll leave you to it. You can go wherever you please, just stay out of the basement. I’ll have one of my guards to bring your staff. In the meantime, get some rest. We’ll start your training tomorrow morning.” He says and begins to walk out the door. 

“Wait!” She calls out to him. 

He turns slowly on his heel. 

“What should I call you?” 

“Kylo Ren. Call me Kylo.” He responds and is gone within seconds. 

Kylo. 

Rey’s questions about Kylo grew, and she planned to get them all answered. 

She thought about Chewie’s warning, how he isn’t “safe.” It was so peculiar to her that Chewie had a life before her, and even stranger to think how he got caught up with force users. She wishes she had a chance to ask him about this whole side of him she didn’t even know existed. 

It took a lot of logic for Rey to not get mad at him. She felt almost betrayed; he never entrusted her with this information or his previous life. She knew it was for her safety so she tried not to let it get to her, but part of her felt mad that she didn’t know so many things about him. 

-

Rey had tried to relax, but she felt too uneasy, too many things were running through her mind. 

She laid on the giant bed on her back, and she had to admit, this was the best bed she’d ever felt, and after sleeping on a cot for the last 10 years, and the sandy floor before that, part of her didn’t ever want to get up. 

She jokingly thought of how people must enjoy the luxuries of the dark side. 

She lay there, lost in her thoughts for a while. She was replaying her interactions with Chewie and Kylo in her mind. She thinks of questions she should have asked Chewie. 

She also thinks about her mixed emotions towards Kylo. However, she also needed to stay sharp and unassuming with him. He could be putting on a show and act. The kindness that was suddenly coming from him made her suspicious. She was eager to train, but not if he had other intentions. She’d be sure to find that out too. 

-

Rey heard a soft knock on the door, and she assumed it was a guard with her staff.  
As she approached the door to open it there was another knock. 

“Hold on!” She called out. 

To her surprise, on the other side of the door was not a guard, but a small woman, probably a little older than herself. 

She was very short, with round bright pink cheeks, and dark black hair. She looked far too cute to belong in this castle. 

“Hello?” Rey said, looking down at the girl. 

The tiny women stared at her for a little too long, almost in awe. Rey noticed her eyeing her up and down. 

“I’m so sorry, I just haven’t seen another humanoid female in so long. And you’re so- so tall- and not what we, I mean I was expecting. Sorry! Hi, I’m Rose.” she breathed out, speaking a mile a minute, holding out her hand. 

Rey chuckled lightly, amused by her sweetness. “Hi, I’m Rey, and you are not what I expected either.” She returned the gesture. 

“Well, what were you expecting?” Rose asks, and Rey realizes they’re still standing in the door frame and gestures for her to come in. 

“Someone much larger, heavily armored, probably in a mask.” Rey jokes and earns a gentle smile from Rose. 

“Well, I can say that’s what most people do expect. I’m actually a servant here, I work in the kitchen and kind of wherever else I’m needed.” She replied. 

“That sounds horrid, I’m sorry,” Rey responds. 

Rose brushes off her comment and changes the subject. 

“I’m here for whatever you need, but Master Ren sent me to get your measurements.” She said.

“My measurements? For what?” 

“Well, he told me you didn’t have any clothes with you and to get your sizes so we can come up with some things for you to wear.” She responded. 

Rey was honestly surprised by this, she hadn’t even thought about this herself. Back home she owned about four outfits that she just washed every few days. 

“Oh, uhm I guess that’s nice.” Rey didn’t really know what to say, looking down and feeling slightly insecure about her simple tan tunic and brown leggings.

“Here come over here and I’ll size you,” Rose says, walking over towards the mirror on the other side of the room and pulling out a measuring string. 

Rey hesitantly followed her, unsure what to do. 

“This is also definitely not what I expected.” She breathed out as Rose had her lift her arms. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I was expecting to be treated like a prisoner. Not like a guest.” She said honestly. 

“A prisoner? Master Ren is certainly not treating it that way. There are already rumors that you’re his padawan- well I guess we wouldn’t call it that anymore, but he’s making sure you’re respected by the guards and the rest of the staff.”

Kylo works fast, that’s for sure. 

Rey decides to ignore this, not really sure what to make of it. She keeps in mind that his words from earlier were sincere. He did not want her to feel trapped here. 

“So there are other staff members? How did you end up here, if you don’t mind?” Rey asked. Rose was currently measuring around her waist, clearly comfortable enough with Rey to be in her personal space. 

“Yeah! I work in the kitchen and do house-work along with my friend Finn. Both of us were sold into slavery at a young age. The old master had purchased us when we were teenagers. As for the guards, that’s a long story, but I have a few that are my friends. The others are lifeless and honestly a bit scary.” Rose told her. 

“I hope one of your friends isn’t the guard I shot in the leg.” Rey attempted to fill the silence.

“Oh Hux? Yeah, you got him good. Probably deserved it though.” Rose laughed lightly. 

Rey felt a surge of empathy for Rose. This girl had treated her with nothing but kindness and was currently serving her as if she was royalty. She immediately felt guilty for ever complaining or feeling sorry for herself. Rey had definitely never had it easy, but at least for the last ten years or so, she’s been free. No one’s property. 

“I’m sorry. I used to be a slave too, back on Jakku.” She told Rose. 

“How’d you get out of that?

“I was rescued by someone who had thought I had potential. Just got lucky I guess.” She didn’t really know how else to answer. 

Rose began to roll up her tape. 

“Well, I better get these measurements back to Ren. It was nice to meet you, Rey.” She smiles, looking up from the parchment she was writing on.

“Can I ask you some questions before you go?” Rey decides at the last minute to ask. 

Rose gives her a look of intrigue: “Well that depends. You sure ask a lot of questions.” She says, laughing a little. 

“Kylo— the master? Who is he? How did he end up here? You said something about an old master and I’m just trying to figure things out.” She admits, taking a seat on the bed. 

“Look, I don’t know where he came from, just that he was our old master’s apprentice. He’s kept Finn and I around because we’ve been here since the beginning. Since before he fell to the dark.” 

“But how did that happen?” 

“Finn and I aren’t sure. Ren was brought here when he was about your age. It wasn’t like one day he was evil, it was a slow decline, tortuous if I had to guess. He trusts me for the most part, but he’s never told me of his past.” 

“So he wasn’t always like this?” 

“It’s not my place to tell you. All I’ll say is that his name definitely wasn’t always Kylo, and he didn’t come here by choice. He was in a position similar to the one you’re in now.” 

Rose’s last statement startled Rey. She didn’t want to fall to the dark or continue some circle of Master and apprentice. That’s not how Kylo made it sound, and that’s not what she had planned either.

“So you do know?” Rey added. 

“No. Just heard rumors, but I don’t know what’s really the truth.” 

“So, asking him is probably out of the question.” Rey joked. 

“Woah you’re an eager one, but yeah I would probably never recommend that.” Rose shoots her a small smile. 

Rey looks down at the ground momentarily. If she was going to stay here with this man she wanted to know about him. She knew her decision to stay and take Chewie’s place so eagerly was partially irrational, and maybe even selfish. She just thought that this was supposed to happen. At first, she was terrified of this planet and the unknown of it all. However, as soon as Kylo made his offer, she almost knew she had no other choice. Something inside her was pulling her to this mysterious man, and she was overly excited about this new part of her life, about this change. 

She could never guess where life was going to take her, but this was where she ended up, and Rey was a firm believer that everything happened for a reason; the force had a plan, she decided. 

A small voice in the back of her head reminded her of the warnings Chewie had left. 

_He’s not safe._

She knew that much for sure. She was well aware that he was capable of horrible things. It was just hours ago that he dug through her memories and violated her secrets, and she wouldn’t just forgive him, or dismiss his actions. 

Rey had decided for the first time in her life, she would be selfish. This man was going to teach her how to connect with the force, how to fight, and more. Rey planned to take advantage of that. She would master the force and use it for good. Then she could start her real life, the one she wanted. 

“Does he always wear that mask?” Rey had to ask, her thoughts still spinning in her head. 

“You’re wondering what he looks like, huh?” Rose began to tease her. 

Rey felt her cheeks going red, “I mean I’m curious.” 

“I know he takes it off sometimes, but never around us anymore. He used to not have it. What I’ve heard is he has some face deformity that he got from the old master. Of course, he’d never tell us what really happened.”

“Well, what happened to the old master?” Rey asked. 

“Oh girl, you have much to learn. No one really asks those questions. One day he was gone and Master Ren was in charge. We didn’t question it because Finn and I hated the old master.” 

“You’re not curious at all? When did this happen?” Rey really couldn’t help herself. 

“You better promise you’re not going to be asking questions like this to Ren, or the guards.” 

“I make no such promises,” Rey replied. 

“You really have no fear,” Rose said. Rey strongly disagreed but decided to not to argue Rose’s assumption. 

“I just want to know everything. If I’m stuck here, I don’t want to be blindsided. I want to be in the know.” She defended. 

“Look, Ren’s only been in charge around here for a few years. He’s young, only 29 or 30 maybe. If you ask me, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but I do know he’s had it tough. Just be careful.” 

“Okay okay, I will be. Thank you, Rose.” 

“I really should get going now.” She said, standing up from their spot on the bed and going towards the door. 

As she opened the door she turned back slightly. 

“You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s an old portrait of Master Ren in the basement.” 

-

After Rose left, Rey didn’t have the confidence to sneak into the basement, not yet at least. 

Instead, she was wandering the hallways of this forsaken castle. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but she knew it was probably the middle of the night. She couldn’t sleep. 

She found herself back at the portrait of horrifying men, who she assumed based on the legends that Maz had told her, were sith. She really hated how they looked, but found herself too intrigued to look away. The force surrounding these paintings was dim, and the feeling of darkness from earlier returned to her stomach. 

She was looking at the last portrait again, who she thought might be the last master. It was a terrifying image. Rey’s experience with the force had been so full of life and humility, she couldn’t quite grasp the idea that the force was also capable of this; turning men into monsters. 

Her body became stiff as she thought of the interrogation from earlier. She never thought the force was capable of doing that either. Burning through someone’s mind, and Rey realized the more she fought it, the more it hurt. 

She reached out to touch the painting, the yellow-red eyes standing out to her, she couldn’t fight the odd urge she had to touch it. 

“Creepy, isn’t it?” the menacing robotic voice belonging to Kylo scared her, she twitched slightly and her hand fell back down to her waist.

This was the first time he’d crept up on her, she hadn’t felt his signature in the force like he was hiding it. 

“How did you do that?” Rey asked him, almost assuming he would know what she was talking about. 

“You can mask your presence in the force. It takes a lot of focus and meditation, but it’s possible.” He told her. 

She didn’t know what to do with this new information, and her eyes fell to his hands and she realized he was carrying her staff. 

“Apparently my guards are incapable of direction. Here you go,” he said, handing her the staff.

She nodded at the gesture and decided to turn back to look at the painting.

Both of them were silent momentarily until he spoke: “These are all the masters of the sith, from the beginning of time. They had all lived here at some point.” He said to her, getting closer to her. She felt his presence in the force return, the hot feeling surrounded her quickly. 

“They definitely are creepy. Why even leave them up?” She asked. 

He took a minute to answer as if he was trying to find the right words. 

“I keep them up as a reminder.” He simply stated. 

“A reminder for what?” 

“To be better. The path of the sith isn’t one to strive for.” He said, shocking her. 

Rey felt her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “You live in the castle of the sith? I don’t really understand.” 

“These men all fell because they were weak. They relied on the dark side of the force for their power. You need to use more than that.” He explained. 

She hadn’t realized how close he’d gotten. They were standing shoulder to shoulder, only about a foot apart. She moved slightly backward, as Kylo’s view stayed stuck on the portrait. 

“And that’s what you’re going to teach me?” 

He stayed quiet again, but she could tell he didn’t want to answer her question. 

“Why didn’t you ask the wookie?” He changed the subject completely. 

“What do you mean?” Rey was staggered by his question. 

“You didn’t ask him why he came to Mustafar or why he came to me. Why didn’t you?” His voice cracked at the end like it was hard for him to say. 

“I just wanted to say goodbye. If I asked he wouldn’t have told me anyway. He never wanted me to get involved with his past.” She answered, almost laughing at her own words. She ironically got even more mixed up in his past without him at all. Him telling her probably could have avoided this. 

He nodded and turned around to walk away. 

“Why did he come here?” She said, turning to look at him. 

Kylo didn’t turn back around, he just slowed down. 

“Get some sleep. We’ll begin your training in the morning,” and he descended down the staircase, fading into the shadows of the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ugly man aka the old master is ~sheev~ by the way hehe


	4. You Can’t Hide, Not From Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn rests an arm on her shoulder, “Look, I’m only joking! But look at her outfit. He picked it out, right? Doesn’t it look like something he’d wear back then, ya know, before?” He shrugged, looking Rey up and down. 
> 
> Rey felt self-conscious, looking at her own clothes now. Rose had brought her a ton of different tunics, sweaters, jackets, and an abundance of pants, even a few pairs of boots. She was now dressed in an oversized black thermal sweater and grey leggings. 
> 
> “Finn, be quiet. If anyone heard you say that they’d cook you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello beautiful humans. Sorry for the late-ish update, I was in the process of moving and still have classes going on! I will be back to updating once a week :)
> 
> I love my betas, thank you for holding me accountable <3 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you're enjoying the story so far, and staying safe and healthy!

A quiet knock on Rey’s door caused her to shoot straight up from the oversized bed. 

She had barely slept. Rey never slept well in new places. It took her years to sleep comfortably on Takodana, her mind still trained to sleep with one eye open like she did on Jakku. 

Once she opened the door and was met with nothing but an empty hallway. She looked around and noticed that there was some clothing folded neatly on the ground and a note. 

_Here’s some clothes for the day, I’ll bring by some more later.  
Master Ren has instructed that you meet him on the second floor in one hour for training. Breakfast will be afterward.  
X, Rose. _

Rey felt exhausted from her restless night, and suddenly starving. She dragged herself to the fresher that was connected to her room; another luxury she did not have back home that left her amazed with the warm water that was available to her at her fingertips.  
She knew she was training, so she didn’t want to wash yet, but she tried to make herself look somewhat alive and presentable, pulling her hair back into just one bun instead of her usual three. 

She felt slightly turned off by the clothes that were provided for her- black leggings, a dark red tunic that went to the bottom of her neck, that was paired with more black wraps for her arms. Suddenly, Rey felt like one of them, one of the servants to the darkside that lived in this castle. 

Maybe she was being unreasonable, having black and red clothing didn’t make her a bad person, she just knew it wasn’t her. As she stared at herself in the mirror she tried to smile, but couldn’t; she was too focused on the heavy bags under her eyes and how pale her skin looked. 

She had trouble focusing on what she needed to do, or what her plan even was anymore. She kept thinking of her interaction with Kylo last night, how he provoked her curiosity but didn’t give into it. Rey badly wanted to know how he and Chewbacca were connected, and how he came to be this _Kylo Ren._

Rey knew there was much she could learn from this man, but she couldn’t help but feel empathetic, or guilty for using him for his knowledge of the force. She didn’t trust him, but she also knew that she was naive to the situation, and it needed to be approached carefully. However, the way Rose talked about him, it struck a nerve with her. 

_His name wasn’t always Kylo Ren._

How did he get wrapped up in all this? He was haunted, and Rey could not stop herself from wondering why. When he had asked her to stay and train with him, he seemed almost desperate, in need of her.

She knew it was a stupid though—she didn't even know the man—but she wanted to help him. Rey knew it wasn’t her job to fix a broken man, but she kept going back to the day she pledged to herself that she would be kind, and give compassion to others. She brushed this thought from her mind, she didn’t know what he’d done, or how he’d gotten there. Her walls needed to go back up before it was too late. 

_Show no compassion. Show no concern for him._ She repeated to herself in a whisper as she walked to the second floor. 

She came across the end of the hallway, the second floor was much different than the third. It was very open, only had a few rooms. It didn’t take Rey too long to find out where he was waiting for her. 

The training room was wide and tall, painted black and grey like the rest of the force forsaken building. It had a black mat on the floor, as well as a lot of open space to spar. 

Rey noticed different weapons lined across the walls, and she suddenly felt stupid for her simple staff. 

When she got to the room, Kylo was on the ground, his back turned to her, that stupid mask still on. She could guess he was meditating. 

She was about to open her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it. 

“Good morning Rey. I trust you slept well.” He said, beginning to stand up. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She replied. 

“You’re not, I was expecting you.” He says calmly. 

She paces to the wall of weapons awkwardly, not knowing how to approach the situation at all and feeling slightly out of place. 

“I guess you should start by telling me what you do know about the force,” Ren says, sensing her unease. 

“I mean, there’s not much to tell. I noticed I could move things with my mind first, as a teenager. I was told the history of the Jedi, and that in these times it’s considered dangerous to be a force user. I’ve called out to it in times of need and that usually seems to work out.” She says shyly. 

“You must know something about force signatures, as well? You commented on mine last night.” He replies.

She is still walking slowly around the room and traces her fingers across a dark silver sword that is hanging on the wall. 

“Uhm yes. I usually get senses or feelings about people. When I met Rose, her energy was easy to read and bright. When I met you it was—” 

He interrupts her, “Dark?” He offers. 

“Oh, uh no actually. I was going to say warm? Your presence in the force is surprisingly heavy, and I felt it right away. As soon as you and I are in the same room, I can no longer hear the ringing of the darkness that surrounds this planet.” 

Rey hopes she didn’t push too hard, she was just being honest. His signature is strong, overwhelming at best. She didn’t know how else to put it into words. 

“Are you sure?” He asks her as if she’s lying. 

“I’m just telling you what I feel.” 

“How strange.” He whispers, and she can barely understand him. 

“What do you mean?” She asks. 

“Yours feels the exact same.” He deadpans, and she feels her eyes grow wide. 

She had never exactly thought about how her signature came off to others, mostly because until a day ago, she didn’t know any other force users. 

“I wouldn’t know.” She says to him. 

“I’ll have to do some research on that. I haven’t felt another force sensitive’s energy in years.” He says, the deep voice from his mask echoing. 

Rey, again, didn’t know what to say. She was supposed to be getting trained and didn’t exactly know how these things worked.

He cleared his throat and she noticed him sit back on the floor. 

“Have you ever meditated?” He asks her. 

She takes a seat across from him, crossing her legs, but keeping her distance. 

“Yes, but I’ve never been very successful. I think about it too much, and then the feeling overwhelms me, and I just get frustrated and full of pent up energy.”

His head tilts as if he’s thinking, and Rey secretly finds it funny how he tries to show expression through the mask, also acknowledging the irony of it all.

“You need an anchor. A place, or a person, to be the foundation of your thoughts, the energy will flow from there.” He says. 

“What do you think of?” Rey asks. 

“I think of my home planet. I then think of my favorite place from there, the beach, and the waves crashing, and the force will fill you from there. The balance of life in the ocean, the light, and dark, death and birth, it’s all there.” He says. 

“I’ve never thought of the force like that.”

“The force isn’t a superpower or an ability that you have unlimited access to. The force is in everything around you, every person, every plant. It will act at it’s own will, depending on what it wants. Sure, I’ve learned to access it easily, some people have a stronger connection to it than others, and I know how to use it to my advantage, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to win every fight.” He tells her, and Rey finally understands some of Maz’s explanations. 

Maz was always insistent that she shouldn’t rush her abilities, or make the force hers to use. She would always say that one needed to appreciate it first, to believe in it. 

“That’s why I was able to call to it when I was fighting your guards? I wasn’t trying to use the force against them, I was calling for strength, for survival?” She asked. 

“Something like that. Try it.” He tells her. 

Rey lays her staff next to her and closes her eyes, she takes a deep breath. 

“Reach out.” He adds. 

Rey imagines Takodana, her favorite little spot in the forest. Secluded, with a little river. Sometimes she’d catch fish for her and Chewie there. She finds herself focusing on the fish, on how it moves. What it might see. And it’s not as if she’s suddenly the fish and can see its surroundings, but she feels the energy around it, and around the river, all the trees, and suddenly the whole planet. 

Her eyes shoot open and there are beads of sweat on her forehead. She lost herself for a moment. 

“You began to think about it too much. Became too aware of your surroundings.” Kylo says, and she just nods.

“I’ll try again.” She says, straightening her back and closing her eyes.

“No. I’m not going to make you meditate over and over again like some Jedi. It’s just important you understand how it works. You can practice on your own time now, but there are other things you need to learn.” He replies. 

She nods, standing up after him. 

“Grab your staff.” He says, and she watches him walk over to the side of the room and unclip his lightsaber from his belt and set in on the table. He grabs a staff looking weapon, except it’s black and thinner, much better made than hers. 

He stands shoulder-width apart about three feet in front of her. 

“Strike at me.” He says. 

“Strike at you? I’m supposed to just hit you?” She feels flustered. 

“Yes, hit me.” 

“How am I supposed to just—” and he doesn’t wait anymore before taking a swing at her, which she dodges by somersaulting under him. 

He comes down to her again, so she lifts her arm to block his hit, knocking him to the side momentarily to regain her balance. 

“Ah!” She grunts, swinging at him and missing. She feels her nose scrunch, and herself getting easily angered. 

She dodges another one of his hits, he blocks two of hers, his next swing hits her in the back. 

It didn’t hurt, she could tell once he realized he was actually going to hit her, he lightened the amount of force. 

A small sound escapes her, but she’s back in action, nailing him in the shoulder. 

“Watch your right. You’re leaving it wide open.” He says, starting to breathe heavy. 

She listens, and curves her body correctly, blocking another one of his blows. 

He hits her a few more times, and she’s now becoming frustrated. 

“How do you even see with that mask on?” She grits through dodges. 

“Once you’re attuned with the force, you barely need your eyesight. An entire new--” 

He pauses, ducking her swing. 

“—a new sight becomes available to you, through your senses,” He explains. 

She could tell he was going easy on her, she’s seen him with a saber, and it was terrifying compared to this. 

Their blocking goes on, hitting back and forth.

Eventually, their staffs get blocked in the middle of each other, crossed like an X. They’re close to each other, she can see her own reflection in the forehead metal of his mask. She feels like if she stares long enough his hidden face would appear to her. 

Rey realizes she’s not even focused on the fight anymore, but what’s in his head. She’s focusing on Ren and the person behind the mask, distracting herself. 

Her staff is knocked from her and he swipes her feet, causing her to fall on her backside. 

“Dammit,” she curses.

“You were distracted.” He tells her. 

“No shit. Let’s go again,” she says, feeling a new determination. 

He nods and reaches out his hand to help her up. She stares at the glove before refusing to grab it. 

He chuckles lightly at her backing away from him and shrugs. 

“Never trust your opponent, right?” she jokes. 

He nods towards her as if he can’t disagree, and turns around. She’s unsure of what he’s doing until she sees he’s taking off his overcoat. It was getting warm in the room, Rey felt herself sweating more now. 

He is now left in front of her, in just his tunic and suspenders. 

She comes to the realization that this was the first time she’s seen any of his skin. She had just been assuming he was a humanoid, and this more or less confirmed her suspicions. His arms are extremely pale, and covered in freckles and birthmarks. Judging by how muscular he is, she wouldn't be surprised if he worked out eight hours a day.

He readjusts his grip on the staff and strikes towards her once again, but this time she’s ready. 

She returns a jab and then ducks to miss his next move. Her ankle rolls and she falls over slightly. 

His next move comes down on her and she raises her staff while simultaneously kicking his shin, causing him to fall down next to her. 

He’s now laying flat on his back, so she rolls slightly to get the advantage, but he grabs her staff, pulling her down on top of him. He is quick to flip her and pin her arms down, he’s straddling over her. 

She should feel trapped, or afraid, but she doesn’t. She’s too consumed with the power of this fight, she’s never been able to let out her aggression so freely, and she feels captivated by the sensation. 

She squirms underneath him, trying to kick him off of her, and immediately lets himself up. He stands and goes over to put his staff down. 

“You’re letting your anger get the best of you. You’re distracted.” He tells her. 

She pauses for a moment, still, on the floor, her chest is moving up and down, still focused on what had just happened. 

“Well, you’re distracting.” She whispered, hoping he wouldn’t hear. 

“You need to go into a fight more concentrated and calm. I think that’s enough for today though. Same time tomorrow.” He says simply and gathers his things before walking out, leaving Rey still on the ground, dumbfounded. 

-

Later, when Rey was cleaned up and dressed, she found herself in the kitchen, searching for any particle of food she could get her hands on. 

She had finally been acquainted with Finn, Rose’s friend, and she was sitting on the counter as Rose made her something to eat. 

“Really Rose, I can just find something to eat myself! I feel bad having you make something for me.” Rey whined. 

“No, it’s fine! It’s kind of my job. I don’t mind, don’t feel bad.” She smiled. Momentarily, Rey basked in the moment of having a friend close to her age, even if the situation was unconventional, it wasn’t something she had ever been able to experience before. 

“Besides—” Finn chimed in, hopping up on the counter next to Rey, and stealing a piece of fruit from whatever Rose was concocting. 

“Everyone should be thanking you.” He said between bites. 

Rey was not quite sure what he meant and turned to Rose for an explanation.

“Finn!” Rose playfully slapped his arm. 

“You shouldn’t say things like that! It’s only been a day” She added. 

“What are you talking about?” Rey asked, still as confused as ever. 

“It’s just a joke,” Rose said. 

“It is not! Since she got here, Ren has been so distracted. I’ve barely seen him—I mean I don’t know if I’d call it good, but he hasn’t been bothering anyone, it’s just nice.” Finn explained. 

“Distracted? I’ve barely seen him myself.” Rey asked, mostly in hopes of further details. 

“Finn is just being dramatic. Master Ren is nothing compared to the old master. He usually leaves us be. He’s not that bad” She chimes in. 

“He is kind of cold to me unless he’s talking about the force. He seems to be really into that.” Rey said. 

“I think it’s because he has a purpose now. He has no clue what he’s doing, but now Rey is like his little project.” Finn said, taking more food from Rose. 

“Shh! Finn, stop it!” She scolds, taking the fruit back from him. 

“You’re going to make Rey feel uncomfortable.” She added, giving her a sympathetic look. 

“Oh, I’m way past that.” Rey laughs awkwardly. 

Finn rests an arm on her shoulder, “Look, I’m only joking! But look at her outfit. He picked it out, right? Doesn’t it look like something he’d wear back then, ya know, before?” He shrugged, looking Rey up and down. 

Rey felt self-conscious, looking at her own clothes now. Rose had brought her a ton of different tunics, sweaters, jackets, and an abundance of pants, even a few pairs of boots. She was now dressed in an oversized black thermal sweater and grey leggings. 

“Finn, be quiet. If anyone heard you say that they’d cook you!” 

Rey was very intrigued by this conversation. Somehow, they’d noticed a difference in Kylo in just one day? It didn’t make sense to her, and all her questions that filled her mind were returning, and there was more to them now. 

“Wait, what do you mean--” 

“Hey, guys!” Before she could question any further, Rey was interrupted by a very loud voice and the door to the kitchen being slammed open. 

“Oh sorry! I didn’t realize the new girl was in here.” The curly-haired man chuckled and put out his hand. Rey noticed that his helmet was in the other hand. 

“Poe, it’s fine. She’s cool.” Finn said, and Rey shook his hand. 

“Rey, this is Poe, he’s one of the guards and one of our very good friends. Poe, Rey.” Rose explained, she was still distracted by whatever she was making. 

“Nice to meet you,” She beamed, shaking his hand. 

“How did a little thing like you end up in Mustafar?” Poe asked, now also stealing food from Rose’s dish. 

“Please Poe, she’s taller than you.” Rose jokes, moving the bowl of fruit away from him. 

Rey chuckled lightly, “That’s a bit of a long story.”

“All the other guards were saying to keep an eye out for you though. You shot Hux in the leg. The whiner is still recovering.” Poe laughed at himself. 

Rey couldn’t help but feel somewhat bad. She never meant to actually hurt anyone, but they did attack her first. 

“At least he’ll be okay,” Rey said shyly, playing with her hair to distract herself. 

“Oh that reminds me, Hux won’t stop asking about you, Rose. I think you should go visit him in the infirmary.” Poe tells her. Rey looks over to see Finn making eyes at her as if he’s waiting for Rose’s response. 

Rose rolls her eyes at both Finn and Poe. “And why would I do that?” She says. 

“Well, because uh, you like him?” Finn chimes in now. 

“No, I don’t. Armitage is a prick.” 

“To everyone, but you,” Poe adds. 

“He can come to see me when he’s better.” Rose sticks her head up in the air and continues cooking. 

Rey was feeling somewhat left out. It did interest her to know about these people, and to see that even in this dark place with a man in a mask, there was still some happiness and life happening behind it all. She was fascinated by how other people close to her age interacted with each other, but she could tell they were a bit older than her. 

Poe and Finn continued to nag Rose, and Rey could tell she was losing her patience, so she decided to try and change the subject. 

“Rose, could you teach me how to make whatever it is you’re making?” She smiled, hopping off the counter. 

“I’d be happy to. Now, you two, leave us alone.” Rose shooed them off, and let out a sigh of relief when the kitchen door slammed behind them. 

“Thank you.” Rose touched Rey’s shoulder briefly. 

“Anytime. You shouldn’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Rey told her. 

“Thanks, Rey. It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it, it’s just. Hux isn’t a great guy and I feel guilty for even having some interest in him. Anyways, if Finn and Poe heard that they’d never let me hear the end of it.” She laughed while rolling out some dough on the counter. 

Rey fully understood what Rose meant. She had a lot of guilt herself, choosing the force, and Kylo over her found family, but it was what she knew she had to do. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself. 

“Well if you think there is something worth seeing in him, you should follow your heart. You never know what could happen.” Rey said. 

“You are the cutest thing, but you haven’t met Hux.” 

“Can’t be worse than Kylo?” 

“Debatable.” Rose giggled, handing Rey a rolling pin. 

Rey felt so content in the following moments. She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about Finn and Poe yet, but she decided she trusted Rose. She finally had a confidant. Rey knew she couldn’t trust Kylo, but at least she had someone. And when she left this damn castle, she was going to take Rose with her, if she wanted to leave. 

“What do you know how to make?” Rose interrupted Rey’s thoughts. 

“Not much. I mostly hunted fish and other creatures and cooked them over a fire, or ate at a tavern. There isn’t too much variety where I am from.” Rey told her. 

“Alright. Looks like I’m teaching you how to make a fruit tart today.” She said, grabbing some more ingredients. 

Rey must've looked like an excited schoolgirl, for she followed Rose's every instruction with unwavering enthusiasm.

She later beamed at her and Rose’s creation. Food had always been a love of Rey’s, and this might be the best thing she’s ever eaten. The reward and pride she had of baking it herself made it taste that much better and Rose laughed at her the entire time as she scarfed down tart after tart.

-

Later that evening, Rey sat in her room, with an extremely full stomach and a fatigued body. 

She was trying to take in the day and was mostly curious about how tomorrow’s training session would go after the one that was cut short today. 

He left so flusteredly like he had read her mind. She never thought in a million solars that this masked man would be on top of her after a day of knowing him.  
She obviously didn’t trust Kylo, but the overwhelming comfortability with him scared her. That was just it, though, she wasn’t scared. She should be terrified, and the fact that she wasn’t scared her more than anything. 

She shouldn’t feel this comfortable this quickly, she should want to run away and hide. But no one has given her a reason to yet. 

Poe, Finn, and even Rose seemed happy enough. They had even said Kylo was better than the last master. She wondered what the weight of those words meant and what terrible things that he had done himself. 

Once she started thinking she couldn’t really stop. She rolled over in bed and tried to force herself into a dream, but it wasn’t working. 

She wanted to know everything about this place and the tortured man under the mask. 

She decided it was late enough, no one should be up right now. She remembered what Rose had told her about an old portrait she had seen of Kylo in the basement, and she was suddenly desperate to see it. 

Rey tried to stop herself, but it was no use. She grabbed her staff and tip-toed down the stairs and past the portraits of sith men. 

At the end of the corridor on the lowest floor, there was a huge gold door. It stood out amongst the black stone. The floor beneath it was ancient-looking, cracks in the base with dirt and roots coming through. 

She turned the handle of the door ever so slightly and pushed it open slowly. 

What she found was astonishing and Rey froze in her place.

There was a giant room, filled brim to brim with books, and artifacts. She had absolutely no clue what any of them were, but she was amazed by how many things were down here just rotting and covered in webs. 

She went down one of the aisles of books, her fingers running across the spines, and carefully eyed the titles. They looked mostly like sith legends or force history books. However, some were in languages she didn’t even recognize. 

The room seemed endless, it kept getting deeper, but finally, the shelves became less full and she saw a wall at the other end. There was a little bit of space between the wall and the last row of books. There were a few chairs and tables, melted candles as if meant for studying. 

Then she finally saw it. The portrait Rose had told her about. It was not like the others in the upstairs hallway, it was on the floor and looked like it had been sliced in half by a lightsaber, she’s guessing Kylo’s. 

She bends down and carefully pulls the two halves together, giving her a somewhat distorted image. She sees him though, and it’s not what she expected, but then again, she didn’t really know what she expected. 

His face was long, pale like his arms were. His jaw sharp, and hair length. 

Raven black hair reached his shoulders, and it was curled all nicely at the ends. His face was so serious, staring off into the distance. His lips were pink and very full, he had a strong nose on him too. She couldn’t help but notice the moles that painted his skin.

Rey didn’t know how long she looked at his face, but she knew it was longer than she needed to. The most shocking thing about the portrait was his eyes. Rey was fully prepared to see two yellow eyes staring back at her, haunted with darkness, but instead, she saw sadness, surrounded by a golden brown stream. 

His eyes stayed with her, they were hauntingly familiar, and the look on his face was burned into her memory. It was one of the saddest faces she had ever seen. 

-

She knew she had to be careful, so after not too long she snuck back upstairs. 

No one was around, she knew it must be late then, there weren’t even guards at the front door like there had been before. Walking around at night though, lit by only candles and torches, caused an unsettling feeling to come over Rey. She held her breath until she made it to the second floor, knowing she at least couldn’t get caught coming from the basement from here.

As she’s approaching the staircase she hears footsteps and takes a moment to look behind her. She sees nothing but runs straight into a solid figure, that was, of course, Kylo. 

She jolts back, and his hands grip her forearms as if he attempted to avoid her running into him. 

“I- I’m sorry.” She whispers, and he gently lets go of her arms. 

“You should be asleep.” He says to her, in a soft voice that she had only heard from him once before. 

“I guess I could say the same to you.” She manages to get out, her arms tingling from where his hands had been, and she noticed he was hiding his presence in the force again. 

He just stares at her, and Rey can’t help but see the face she just saw, filled with torture and confliction. Even though she can’t see his face now, she feels like it would look the same.  
“Goodnight Rey,” and he was gone in a matter of seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how I imagine the portrait to look. It's made by TheRealMcgee on Tumblr, and it's amazing. You should check out their other works as well!  
> [Link text](https://therealmcgee.tumblr.com/post/137670489279/i-was-asked-about-how-i-paint-kylos-luxurious)


	5. Don't Leave Me In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashes of images were being exposed, a crying baby with jet black hair, the same baby but older, now being hugged by a woman and a man, both with kind faces. The same boy being tossed in the air by a wookie, then the boy being stolen from his bed, kidnapped. The next was the same boy, maybe a teenager now, running, he looked scared. Older, he sat in the desert near a fire, the next was of a more present-day looking Kylo, at least who she could recognize from the portrait. He was being beaten by the last of the men from the other portraits. The yellow eyes were shown clearly to her. She was then given images of Kylo, unmasked, killing others with a blue lightsaber, running again. Then suddenly the saber was red, and he was striking the same old man from earlier through the chest. 
> 
> The images were all jumbles, and fast, Rey could barely comprehend them. There were no sounds, except for the name “Ben” being repeated. Sometimes whispered, sometimes as a scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! 
> 
> Thank you so much for 1K hits! 
> 
> Sorry for the late update, I had finals last week, so I've been slow at writing. I should be posting more regularly now :) 
> 
> Hope you're enjoying the story so far. 
> 
> ps. note the POV change near the end of the chapter.

Rey and Kylo had been training every day for a week now. She was getting stronger, she could feel it. 

Her relationship with the force was growing, and she felt an improvement in both her mental and physical fighting skills, all thanks to the techniques Kylo was giving her. 

Rey felt comfortable, this new routine kept her distracted from how crazy this entire situation was. She woke up early, trained with Kylo, sometimes for up to four hours, then she ate her weight in food, and hung out with Finn and Rose. She had even seen Poe a few times since they last met as well. 

She was well-liked, she had friends for the first time in her life, and even though she was on such a dark planet, that’s history was full of evil, she had never really felt better. She missed Chewie and Maz like crazy, but she had to admit, having friends that were closer to her age that she could be herself with was very refreshing.

On top of that, being able to connect with the force freely, and release all the tension and anger that’s been brewing in her for years has been insane. She couldn’t describe the feeling other than like an extreme adrenaline rush.

The only thing that felt slightly off was Kylo. 

Ever since their first training he had grown distant. She supposed there wasn’t much of a relationship before, but they used to talk, kind of. She really hasn’t heard much from him since he interrogated her, and Rey often forgets how little she knows about him. 

Rey had been sneaking off into the basement every few days. She was mostly interested in the hundreds of books on Jedi, Sith, and everything in between. She strongly avoids the portrait of Kylo, but it burns in her mind. The eyes of a sad boy drifting off into nothing, tears building in the corners, threatening to fall. She didn’t dare look at it, it reminded her too much of herself; someone who wanted to feel accepted, someone who didn’t know what decisions were the right ones to make. 

Sometimes Rey felt like she might just be projecting herself onto him. She knew there was bad in the galaxy, a lot of it. But something pulled at her, and she wanted so bad for him to be good, and to be like her. 

At the last training sessions, Kylo didn’t talk to her unless it was a direct critique of her skills or to give her directions. She also hadn’t run into him since the night she found his portrait. It was like he had become a ghost, and he came and went as he pleased. 

He had disappeared with the exception of their sessions, and he was always there before she was and left before she had the chance to follow. 

It wasn’t sitting well with her. She knew it was irrational, but it felt like he was mad at her or something. The worst part of it was she felt him cloaking his signature in the force even more around her. Without the pull of his presence, the vibrating and dark feeling kept returning to her, and she hated it. Physically, Rey felt strong, her mental stability while fighting and strategizing was great. However, the emotional aspects of Kylo Ren had her conflicted, wanting answers that she didn’t really need.

She shouldn’t care that he doesn’t want to be around her. That helps her, doesn’t it? She learns from him, uses his knowledge, then she’s free. 

-

She’s supposed to be meditating at the moment, trying to mask her force presence at the same time, but she can’t focus. Kylo is sitting three feet across from her, and all her questions are overwhelming her head. 

“Rey, your signature in the force is running wild, what is distracting you?” She heard his voice say, so she opened her eyes. 

He’s looking right at her, his hands folded neatly in his lap, the smallest he’s ever looked. 

“I’m fine.” She responds. 

“You’re not. What’s bothering you?” He nags. 

“It’s really nothing.” 

“Rey, if you keep your emotions in your connection with the force will be negatively affected. It’s the biggest mistake the Jedi made. Detachment isn’t the answer.” 

Rey couldn’t help but let out a laugh. The irony in him saying that to her, when he wears a mask to hide his face, and in doing so hides every emotion that comes over him. He wanted to lecture her on emotion? That didn’t make sense to her. 

“What’s so funny?” He deadpanned. 

“It’s just that you want me to tell you every little thought I have, but you quite literally hide your face. I can’t read you, not even a little!” She knows she shouldn’t say it, but she doesn’t care anymore. She has no idea how long she’s going to be here, how long it will take to train with him. She needs answers if she's going to stay sane.

“Excuse me?” He asks.

“What? You tell me detachment isn't the answer, but invade my mind, make me train vigorously with you every day, and you won’t even tell me about yourself? Or how you got here? Or how you know everything about the force? Why do you get to know everything about me, and I get to know absolutely nothing about you?” Rey found herself raising her voice. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” He says quietly, standing up. 

Rey looks up at him, “Really? That’s it? Why won’t you get mad at me or tell me anything?” She begs. 

“Why would I be mad at you?” 

“I don’t know, but you are! You’ve been avoiding me like the plague. I don’t even know you exist outside of this training. I just want answers!” She argues. 

“Why do you even care?” He questions, now looking down at her. His calm and collective tone that usually carries him, was slightly off. Not mad yet, but definitely caught off guard. 

“I- I don’t know. You’re not only avoiding me, but you’re also hiding your presence in the force! It’s just not fair.” Rey let out. 

“Not fair? I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but life isn’t exactly fair!” He was starting to yell too now, but somehow not seeing his face made it hurt less.

“You think I don’t know that? I just-” she paused, looking down, losing her train of thought. She wanted to explain how she felt, but she wasn’t sure how to. Her lack of the right words caused her to become more frustrated. 

“I don’t understand. Why have me as your padawan or apprentice or whatever, just to act like I don’t exist outside of this room? Is this what you’re going to do? Train me in the ways dark side and then manipulate me into staying or needing you?” She yelled back. 

“Does it seem like I’m doing that? I’ve told you the mistakes of both the Jedi and the Sith. You can’t have darkness without light. I would never teach you that. I’m teaching you to be balanced, in order to understand all aspects of the force. What else could you possibly want?” He said. 

He was standing over her now, she was still on the floor. She didn’t know what she wanted from him, or if it was even about him. Maybe it was more about her. She wanted to justify her curiosity about such a mysterious man. 

She didn’t answer him, just shied her eyes away from him and began to stand up.

“Nevermind. I’m sorry.” She whispered, beginning to walk out. 

She didn’t dare look back at him until he spoke again. 

“You want to know how I knew Chewbacca? Is that it?” He asked, his voice still intense, but gentler than before.

“That’s part of it.” She said. 

“You miss him?” His voice was now back to his normal calm tone. 

“Of course I do.” 

“Let’s just say years ago, when I first got here, I missed him too.” He said it so quietly, Rey wasn’t even sure if she had imagined it or not.

She didn’t feel like hearing any more, and she could tell she has already pushed his limits. At this moment she is still upset, a little angry, but she can also tell that was hard for him to say.

All she replied with was “I’ll see you tomorrow,” and left the room. 

-  
It’s not that she didn’t think he was being sincere, it was just that he wasn’t giving her what she wanted. 

He gave her crumbs to his past and it warranted her no satisfaction. Rey wanted answers. In order to fully trust Kylo Ren, she needed them. She was having trouble trusting their deal since he refused to be honest with her.

She found herself storming off into the kitchen, preparing herself to interrogate Rose. 

“Rose?” She called out, slamming the door behind her. 

Rose turned around from where she stood at the cooling chamber. 

“Hey Rey,” she said simply, continuing to pull an abundance of ingredients out.

“I need to talk to you.” She said, trying to get to the point before she exploded. 

“Good morning to you too? Bad training session?” She responded, raising her eyebrows. 

“I can’t stand him. He’s nice to me, then he’s a dick out of nowhere, then he ignores me? Then I ask him for answers and he gives me nothing! He just spits out some empathetic crap that makes me more curious, but refuses to give me any more answers about his past.” She spits out, faster than Rose can even comprehend. 

“Rey, slow down? We’re talking about the same Ren, right? Why do you care so much?” She responded. She found herself rolling her eyes at Rose since it was the same words Ren had used. 

“I don’t! I just want to know!” 

“That’s a lie and you know it.” She says, crossing her arms and giving Rey a very stern look. 

Rose was right. She did care, she just wasn’t really sure why. She felt a mysterious draw to him through the force, and the lack of his force signature lately was making her uneasy. The portrait of him made it worse, a forever reminder that there was a broken man under the facade he put on. 

“I- I don’t care, really. It’s just, I guess I want to understand why he is the way he is. I feel- for whatever reason feel some type of sympathy for him, and I guess I want to know if he deserves it or not or if I should even trust him.” Rey struggled to find the right words once again. 

“Rey, sit down, you’re sweating,” Rose says, putting an arm on her shoulder and leading her to the counter. She then went and got her some water. 

Rey had never gulped down anything faster in her life, she needed to calm down. 

“Look, I think you’re just having trouble adjusting? It’s only been like a week and your life is very different now.” Rose says to her, grabbing her arm gently. 

“I don’t think that’s it. That’s the opposite of how I feel, I feel too well adjusted, and I think it’s because of him.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t know how to explain it really, but he gives off this feeling in the force, and it drowns out the darkness of Mustafar. This last week, he’s been distant from me, and the absence of it is driving me crazy for some reason. He-he’s too vague. Why basically make me stay here and then ignore me?” She tried her best to explain, the feelings she’s experiencing are new, she feels like she doesn't have enough of the words to explain it.

“I don’t really know what to say,” Rose told her with a look of sympathy. 

“That’s okay,” Rey reassured. 

“I just want to know if he’s a good person… under it all?” She added. 

“You mean under the mask? You saw the portrait didn’t you?” Rose asked. 

“Maybe. It doesn't change anything.” Rey told her. 

“It does. It’s easy to forget who’s under there, who he is outside of all of this.” 

“And who is that? Who is he outside of it?” Rey asks. 

“I couldn’t tell you. He was practically a boy, not much older than you when we met, maybe younger. He was maybe in his early twenties, and he was always nice to Finn and me, but he was an angry person. I’d never seen someone get so mad so quickly and he’s also a skilled fighter, that’s for sure.” Rose told her. 

“He’s always been like that?” 

“Aggressive? Yes, but he has gentle moments. He saved my life once.” 

“What happened?” Rey questioned. She felt herself calming down. She hated that even though he was a hypocrite, Kylo was right. Sharing her feelings and doubts with Rose made her feel slightly better. 

“We were attacked about a year ago, by Jedi hunters or whatever they like to call themselves. Anti-force users, I guess? Anyways, they attacked us, looking for Kylo or maybe the old master. They tied Finn and me up and tortured us for information. I didn’t really have any to give them, so I was useless to them. A man had a knife up to my throat and suddenly he was tossed across the room. The castle was on lockdown, but no one came to protect Finn or myself, or even tell us to hide. They didn’t care, but Master Ren, he came looking for us, risking his life to save us. Even though he’s scary, and definitely not always friendly, I don’t think he’s a bad person. I think he truly has good intentions, just doesn’t know how to use them.” Rose explained. 

Rey felt a sigh of relief. Despite how strange and mysterious this guy was, at least there was hope for her, and maybe him after all. 

“So I should trust him?” Rey said. 

“I think you should talk to him. Tell him you’re feeling like this.” Rose offered, sitting down next to her now. 

“I mean, I tried, but it just came out wrong. I didn’t know how to explain the whole force signature thing without being weird. I mostly just wanted to know why he’s been avoiding me.” Rey replied. 

“He’s not a very open person. He never has been, but he is a good listener. Use your voice, and calmly explain how you feel. No one can invalidate your feelings.” Rose told her. 

Rey didn’t really know if this was the right way to approach it, but she did know Rose was the best person and felt comfortable confiding in her.

Rey gave her a soft smile, “You know you’re the greatest, right?” She said, putting an arm around her playfully. 

“Only a little.” Rose laughed. 

\----

Still feeling slightly defeated, Rey felt the need to sneak down to the basement. It was risky to do this before it was night, but she needed to find some research on force signatures. 

Why did hers feel so similar to Kylo’s? Why did she feel connected to him? 

Perhaps Rey was overreacting and she just didn’t know how it was supposed to feel when you’re around another force user, but either way, she wanted more than what Kylo’s vague definitions had to offer. 

She reached the basement and was overwhelmed with that vibrating that Rey accumulated to the darkness of the planet. The sound got louder as she ventured further into the basement. 

She did her best to ignore it, but it was getting stronger with each step she took. She attempted to distract herself, searching for a book title that had the word “force” or “signature” in it, but she didn’t really know what she was looking for. 

As she eyed the spines of books as she made her way down the aisle, the sound got clearer. It wasn’t just a vibration, she heard whispers, voices, but she couldn’t make out what they were actually saying. 

She suddenly felt possessed by the noise, it was slowly overtaking her thoughts. She walked farther into the library, and of course, it just got louder. She knew where they were leading her, and she couldn’t stop it, not that she wanted to. 

Two candles were lit on one of the reading tables like someone had been there not too long ago. That frightened her enough in itself, but before she knew it she was kneeling on the floor, in front of the split in half portrait, as she had been not too long ago. Something compelled her to reach out to it, so she did. Her fingers slowly reached out to graze his painted cheek, the only thing lighting the portrait was the candles, making his complexion seem warmer than she remembers. 

As soon as her hand made contact with the portrait, she felt her eyes jolt open, visions were being shown to her. It was unclear whether they were playing in her head or right in front of her, so Rey’s body felt paralyzed to where it sat on the floor. 

Flashes of images were being exposed, a crying baby with jet black hair, the same baby but older, now being hugged by a woman and a man, both with kind faces. The same boy being tossed in the air by a wookie, then the boy being stolen from his bed, kidnapped. The next was the same boy, maybe a teenager now, running, he looked scared. Older, he sat in the desert near a fire, the next was of a more present-day looking Kylo, at least who she could recognize from the portrait. He was being beaten by the last of the men from the other portraits. The yellow eyes were shown clearly to her. She was then given images of Kylo, unmasked, killing others with a blue lightsaber, running again. Then suddenly the saber was red, and he was striking the same old man from earlier through the chest. 

The images were all jumbles, and fast, Rey could barely comprehend them. There were no sounds, except for the name “Ben” being repeated. Sometimes whispered, sometimes as a scream. 

Rey’s body jolted backward, as if both from the shock of the vision, but also to get away from the cursed portrait. The vibrating sound was still around, but the whispers were gone. 

“Ben…” she whispers. 

“What are you doing down here?” His voice was now clear, louder than she had ever heard it. 

She turned to look at him, standing up quickly. Her breathes were hitched, still in shock of what she just saw. 

“What was that?” she said it so quietly, it was all she could manage to get out. 

“I forbid you from coming down here! Why are you down here?” He repeated. His stance was wide, and he was breathing just as heavy as her. 

“How did you know I was here?” She asked, still avoiding his question. 

“I just knew. I felt it.” He said. 

“Did you have the images too? Of your childhood?” She said, still trying to piece together what they meant.   
He took a moment to respond as if he was also trying to understand. 

“My childhood? No! What do you mean? I saw yours, a small girl with three buns, just like yours. They weren’t all exactly new images though.”

She can’t look at him, her eyes are glued to his boots. 

“You- you had parents. And Chewie was there? You were stolen from them?” She wanted to keep going, but she wasn’t really sure where it would lead. 

“Stop. Go to your room at once, you’re not supposed to be down here.” He said, his voice stern now. 

“Why? What are you hiding? Why did I have a vision of you?” She stood her ground. 

“You think I know? I gave you freedom Rey and you couldn’t respect my one wish. Get out of here, now.” She could tell he was trying to stay calm, to not blow up on her again. 

“I don’t believe this. You have to know! Why are you still here if you killed your master?” She kept going, knowing she would probably regret it. 

“Get the hell out!” He screamed now, his hand gripped his lightsaber on his side. 

“What are you going to do? Kill me? Go ahead.” She snapped, wanting to push his limits, she didn’t trust him, and she didn’t understand what was happening. 

He ignited his saber, causing Rey to take a few steps back. She really didn’t think he’d do it, she was hoping he wouldn't. 

“Get out.” He said again. 

She took a few steps forward, slowly, almost becoming frightened by him. But some part of her knew that he wouldn’t hurt her. 

He let out a rippling scream, thrashing his saber just a few feet from her, knocking down one of the shelves and cutting a chair in half at the same time. 

Rey took this opportunity to run. She often ran in situations she didn’t want to handle, and this was one she needed to escape. 

She wanted to leave, at least for right now. She sprinted to her room and grabbed her staff, running as fast as she could out the doors of the palace.   
One guard pulled her arm as an attempt to stop her, and she proceeded to knock them in the head. 

She ran out the door, into that forbidden courtyard that felt all too unfamiliar, the gravel sliding under her feet. 

“Rey, stop!” She heard someone call, she recognized it as Poe’s voice. 

She didn’t stop though, she kept going, she was determined to get to her ship, to leave maybe. She didn’t want this anymore, she couldn’t bear going forward without answers. She hadn’t really figured out the plan yet. 

She just kept running. 

\---

Kylo didn’t chase her. He was sure she would come back, she had to. She needed him. 

He knew that he acted poorly, but he didn’t know what was happening either. 

He was furious, at her, at his poorly equipped guards, and at that damning portrait. 

He continuously slashed the portrait over and over again, destroying every last shard of it.

Part of him was annoyed with Rey’s questions. He didn’t think he owed her anything, he promised to train her not to become her best friend. 

She was trying to get too close to him, her warmth was undeniable. He didn’t think of it too much at first, but once she said that she felt the same way about his force signature, it scared him. 

When he had first met Rey, he felt the connection almost immediately. He recognized her from when she was a girl, from when he saved her. He wasn’t positive it was her, but the minute he saw her memories, multiple from Jakku, he knew. He even found the memory she had of him saving her, and how she felt indebted and grateful to... Well not to him, to the man he once was. 

He couldn’t believe that the girl he saved over ten years ago was here in front of him, and grew up with Chewbacca no less. 

He thought it was a major coincidence that their paths had crossed again, but once he got closer to her, he felt her force signature, it was different. Kylo knew that this was destiny, somehow, or a will of the force. He just didn’t know why it was happening or what the purpose of it was. 

He had been spending all his free time researching the subject, reading diaries of Palpatine and Snoke, and the other sith before them. He couldn’t find the answers. 

Rey’s compassion was ultimately Kylo’s biggest fear. He wasn’t used to the way he felt around her, balanced, and at ease. 

Sure, he was teaching Rey to be a balanced force user, that didn’t mean he was necessarily good at it himself. 

He wanted Rey to be better than him, and stronger than he was. 

Once she was better, he would ultimately let her go, in hopes that she would find a better life than he had. One with love, and where she was wanted. 

He wasn’t really sure anymore if he had made a deal to help Rey or to help himself. He thought he may be selfish in wanting to keep her there. He had been lost after killing his master. He was not a sith, and he never would be. The mask not only hid his face deformity, but also his lack of commitment to the dark-side.

Kylo’s followers, the sith loyalists, the guards that were cloned and brainwashed on this very planet, would never accept him. He had to keep up his act of evil and brooding because it was all he had. Over the years it had become less of an act and more of who he was becoming. Nothing could satisfy him anymore.

There also weren’t enough recruits of the empire to overthrow them. Kylo doesn’t even know if they’d want to follow him, let alone protect him.

He couldn’t let his connection to Rey ruin what he had built. Hiding behind this mask and the walls of this castle were the only security he had. He couldn’t let go of it. 

He thought he could maybe give Rey a better life after all of this, but it was too late for him. 

He could never go back, not anymore. 

-

Once cooled down, Kylo had made his way back upstairs, where it was pure madness. Everyone was crowded around, whispering, it was mayhem. 

As he approached, his guards fell silent, standing up straighter. 

“What is going on?” He asked. 

The guards took turns staring back and forth at each other, not daring to say a word. 

Eventually, Poe made his way forward. 

“Master Ren, Rey left,” Poe said, wincing after he said it. 

“What do you mean, left?”

“She grabbed her staff, beat one of the guards with her staff, and booked it into the woods. I called after her, but she seemed upset and kept going.” Poe told him.

Kylo felt himself growing more impatient, he needed to go after her, he refused to let her leave. 

She wouldn’t last one night alone in those woods, especially with just a staff. An urge pulled at his insides, an instinct to protect her. He grew more anxious the more he thought about the dangers of Mustafar, and what could become of Rey if she wasn’t careful. Why did he care so much about what happened to her? She was the one benefitting from their arrangement, not him. 

“Master, General Phasma went after her on a fathier,” Poe told him. 

“Rey will be lucky to make it to her ship. It’s getting dark and the sith loyalists that are native to the planet will attack her without question, not to mention the other creatures that haunt the night.” He said, looking down at Poe. 

“I understand sir. What do you want us to do?” 

“Absolutely nothing. Prepare my speeder, I’m going myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wink wink* phasma and rey interaction next chapter yay


	6. I Wish I Could Trust You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His name didn’t leave her head, it was the one thing that stuck with her. It was almost proof that he had a life before all of this, a normal one. A life as Ben.   
> The vision she had of him made her more intrigued by him if anything, but after their fight she realized that she wasn’t going to get what she needed for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all! sorry for the delay in updates.   
> my health took a turn for the worst this past week, so writing was difficult. I am doing better now so i'm hoping to produce chapters faster now!
> 
> thanks for all the kudos and comments! they make my day. another special thanks to me betas!
> 
> twitter: lighttyklo  
> ig: darkreyy

Rey’s breath felt like fire as she sprinted through the forbidden forest. The lack of oxygen began to go to her head, she was struggling to catch her breath. 

She figured if Kylo was coming after her she had a decent head start and decided she owed herself a break from running, she was also trying to retrace her steps from over a week ago and remember where she even left Maz’s ship. Knowing Ren and his cunning ways, he always seems to be one step ahead of her. He probably took the keys, so she’d also need to hot wire the engine. 

Everything looked the same, the trees burnt, and the air filled with grey smoke. 

It was becoming dark, it became dark early on this planet, even though it wasn’t exactly ever very light out. 

Rey continued to walk through the woods, the leaves crackling beneath her. She really wished she had planned her escape in a more elaborate manner. She was dying of thirst, and starting to get hungry. She had a few nutrition supplements on the ship, but no water. 

She cursed under her breath, her thighs were burning as she dragged her feet behind her. 

She decided to take a larger break, and leaned against a tree. She didn’t get the chance to relax long as the wind started to pick up and the sound of leaves crunching warned her that someone was coming. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Rey whispered, standing up, gripping her staff, mentally preparing herself to knock out some guards. 

The air became suddenly too still and it got suspiciously quiet. Rey turned in a circle, looking around for someone, but there was no one. Her face was suddenly met with the dirt below, a rock slicing her skin near her brow.

A heavy weight was on her back, and a scream exited her. 

The noise must have scared whatever was on top of her because she felt it lift, and she turned around to see it a few feet away from her. She was now face to face with a large beast with horns. It was grey and black, it’s skin scaled and thick. It stood on it’s back legs, but had multiple tails and sharp ears. It was the ugliest thing Rey had ever seen, slobber coming out of its mouth. 

She had no idea what it was or what it was capable of, so she decided to run. Of course, the spike of adrenaline that was surging through her helped her get back on her feet. 

She didn’t have to look back to know it was chasing her, she could hear it growling and it’s heavy feet following. It was hard to decide whether attacking it would just be a better way to go, she didn’t think she’d be losing this thing any time soon. 

She decided to turn a corner, and prepared to swing. She knocked one of it’s legs with her staff and she took advantage of it’s disorientation and pushed it back using the force. It’s body flung against a tree. 

She knocked it one more time while she had a lead, now it’s body laid on the floor. She was about to hit it one more time when suddenly a massive sword came out of nowhere, beheading the creature. 

Another scream left her and the shock caused her to fall backward. She looked up to see one of Kylo’s many guards, except this one was taller, maybe larger than Kylo himself. Their helmet was metal, and large, they struck the creature again with no struggle whatsoever. 

“Get up,” A voice said, reaching out their hand. 

Rey hesitantly took it. “I was fine. I didn’t need your help,” She retorted to the guard. 

“You’re welcome,” the voice replied, taking off their helmet, revealing an extremely tall blonde woman. 

Taken by surprise, Rey knew her reaction was obvious and very visual. Rey also noticed a large animal, which she recognized as a fathier tied to a nearby tree. 

“I don't want to go back with you,” Rey told her. 

“I don’t think you have another option. Your ship was probably scavenged by the locals days ago, and you’ll never make it through the night alive,” she responded. 

Rey’s first thought wasn’t even about not being able to leave, it was about not being able to get the ship back to Maz. She has had that ship for years, and she feels awful about not being able to give it back, she hadn’t even thought about it with everything else going on. 

“I was doing just fine before,” she rolled her eyes. 

“It’s not even dark yet you naive little girl. You’re coming back with me or Ren will have both of our heads, if we even make it.” The lady said. She wasn’t very friendly, Rey thought. 

Rey felt at odds with herself, she knew she would have to go back. Part of her didn’t want to leave, she knew she wasn’t ready if she wanted to be fully trained in the force. She is the one who exasperated him, and antagonized. Her escape plan was not well thought out either. 

Maybe she was being irrational, and this “getaway” could just be used as an act of defiance, or to clear her head at the very least. 

“Fine,” Rey gave up, defeated knowing she had no other way. 

“What was that thing anyways?” She added. 

“It’s a roggwart, there’s tons of them in these woods. We’ll be lucky if we don’t run into anymore, and even luckier if we don’t get caught up with any creatures, especially the Xandanks,” the lady responded. 

“I don’t even want to know what that is.” Rey said. 

“No, you don’t.” 

They began to walk, the woman choosing not to put her mask back on. She also grabbed the animal that was tied up, pulling it beside them. She was beautiful to Rey, in a daring way. Her hair was short, so blonde that it was almost white, and it curled at the ends. Despite her large stature and unfriendly approach, her face was delicate, with soft features and bright blue eyes. 

“I don’t know your name,” Rey broke the silence between them, trying to change this lady’s impression of her. 

The woman turned to her, almost shocked, like she was surprised by Rey’s tone, or her question at all. 

“Phasma,” she deadpanned. 

“I’m Rey-”

“I know.” Phasma said. 

“Oh, uhm how?” Rey asked. 

“Are you kidding? Master Ren made sure we all knew who you were and how to treat you. We thought you were a prisoner, but nope, he basically told us to give you the princess treatment,” She told Rey. 

“He said that?” Rey’s voice came out as disgusted, she did not like that definition to be attached to her. 

“In different words, but we all assumed you were gonna be a spoiled brat,” Phasma admitted. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not like that, and I don’t want to be treated above anyone. I barely know what I’m doing,” Rey explained. 

“I could tell you’re not a spoiled brat from the way you took out that roggwart,” Phasma laughed.

“You watched?” Rey asked, laughing slightly with her, enjoying Phasma’s amusement.

“I got here just when you threw that son of a bitch into the tree with your mind, so I’d say you’re pretty badass.” 

“I know I didn’t sound like it earlier, or probably even deserve it, but thank you for saving me,” Rey replied to Phasma. 

“Like you said, you probably didn’t need it.” Phasma said, patting Rey a little too hard on the back.

Rey enjoyed how Phasma treated her like a person and not someone to be protected. Finn and Rose, as sweet as they were, definitely never told her the whole truth. She chose to believe it was to protect her, but Rey didn’t need to be protected. She wanted to feel included. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Phasma’s gaze. 

“Why did you run away anyways?” Phasma asked her, and Rey knew by her tone that she was expecting an answer. 

Rey felt hesitant to explain the entire truth, “Well, the force has been connecting us in weird ways. I snuck down into the basement to find answers, and let’s just say he wasn’t happy. We got in a large fight, and I just needed to get out of there.” 

“Yeah pushing Ren’s buttons is probably not the way to go. He’s a hot headed person.” 

“I learned that the hard way, I guess. He is just so closed off and I don’t know how to approach him, or handle him. He’s nice to me, but I can tell he’s holding back, like I don’t know the full story,” Rey explained to her, Phasma was listening intently while slicing random branches down with her sword. 

“Well, no offense, but you probably don’t know the whole story,” Phasma chuckled under her breath. 

“I figured as much,” Rey sighed. She couldn’t help herself from pushing another question, “Do you know the whole story?” 

Phasma’s eyes grew wide at her words, like she couldn’t believe Rey had dared asked that. 

“I know more than you, but I am loyal to my master. His story is not mine to tell,” Phasma responded, emotionless. 

Rey felt herself rolling her eyes as they continued to venture back the way Rey had come. 

They trekked in silence for a while, Rey began to think about the vision. 

_Ben._

His name didn’t leave her head, it was the one thing that stuck with her. It was almost proof that he had a life before all of this, a normal one. _A life as Ben._  
The vision she had of him made her more intrigued by him if anything, but after their fight she realized that she wasn’t going to get what she needed from him. 

The main reason for running away, avoiding it face on, was because Rey felt as if she had a rude awakening. She didn’t want to face the fact that she needed Kylo to believe in her, to lean on him. 

For the first part of her life Rey was alone, left to be independent, but since being with Chewie, she had become codependent, seeking approval, and developed a frustrating need to be well-liked, and wanted. 

She wonders if that's why she agreed to Kylo’s deal so quickly, he had shown her something about her that she didn’t even know was there, through whatever bond they had. He made her feel like there was more for her, more to her than she even knew. But then when he began to distance himself, act like he was mad at her, she hated it. That validation had been taken, and she wished she didn’t need it, but his words of affirmation made her know she made the right decision. 

What was the point of training her in the force if she didn’t have a gift, if she didn’t have potential? He offered her an escape, a road to something new, an adventure and lifestyle she had never known, and it wasn’t at all what she thought it would be. Now she just felt confused and regretful. How stupid could she be to lean on a man like Kylo, one who hid himself from everyone? 

What made her special? She was starting to think nothing. 

She had noticed that her and Phasma had been walking in silence for a while, so she decided to spark up a conversation. 

“What other kind of killer creatures are out here?”

“The creatures aren’t the ones you have to worry about. The real threat is the loyalists who live on this planet,” Phamsa said. 

“Like the ones at the castle?” 

“Not exactly. The guards at the castle who aren’t recruits from the empire, like myself, Poe, Hux, and a few others, have been born and bred to protect the sith. Kylo, being the last sith and they are sworn to protect him and the castle. The one’s here are just native to Mustafar, will mob and kill any intruders. They have respect for the sith though, they don’t bother to go near the castle. They’re strange looking, but they’re extremely dangerous,” she tells her. 

“This world is so strange,” Rey comments, looking around at the burnt trees. 

“It’s not too bad, where are you from?” Phasma asks her. 

“I was born on Jakku, makes this planet seem normal I guess. However, I was rescued from slavery and spent the other part of my life on Takodanna. I miss it dearly,” Rey ends up telling her, not even realizing she missed it until she had said it. 

“I’ve never been. What’s it like?” Phasma asked her with a small smile. 

“It’s very green. Lots of fauna and life. The planet itself is known for its sketchiness, lots of smugglers and sellers making their way through, but compared to Jakku it’s like a sanctuary. Where are you from?” 

“I was born on the abandoned mining planet of Parnassos. My parents forced my brother and I to join the empire as a way out, a way to survive. I began training at the age of 14, and worked my way up. Ended up here on a secret mission, decided to stay,” She told Rey. 

Rey was happily surprised by the amount of information Phasma had given her. 

“Is your brother here as well?” Rey asked. 

“No. Um, he passed away a few years after joining. He got killed in battle after joining the storm trooper program,” She said it fast, as if Rey wouldn’t hear it if she did.

“Oh I’m so sorry.” Rey said, giving Phasma a sympathetic look. 

“It’s alright. It was a long time ago. I have a family here now,” Phasma told her, barely any expression on her face. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you known master Ren?” Rey questioned, feeling somewhat comfortable asking. 

“As long as he’s been on Mustafar. He was just a young guy, around your age maybe. He was someone that our old master had been looking for for years, and Kylo surrendered to him, becoming his apprentice,” Phasma told her. 

Rey couldn’t help but wince at her words. _Someone that our old master had been looking for for years._ She thought of her vision, the young boy with big ears and dark hair running, out of breath, in tears. 

“Sounds kind of sad,” Rey replied.

“He has been through a lot, to say the least, but he’s also one of my best friends. I’ll be loyal to him until the day I die,” Phasma tells her. 

“Wow? That close?” She asks. 

“Myself and Hux are two of his closest confidants. We know him better than anyone,” Phasma tells her. 

“Is that what he’s going to do to me? Make me his apprentice and create a new generation of sith?” Rey had to ask. She always worried that there were alternative motives to Kylo’s plans, but she could never fully convince herself. The way that he treated her was too kind, too honest. 

Phasma let out a small chuckle at her question as if it was funny, and Rey gave her a strange look. 

“Kid, he wouldn’t do that,” Phasma said. 

“How can you be sure? He’s loyal to the sith is he not?” 

“Look, you didn’t hear it from me, but he’s not the person you think he is. He wouldn’t force that fate on anyone. I’m not sure what his plans are with you, it’s the one thing he’s been very secretive about, but I can promise you it’s not that,” Phasma told her. 

Rey wasn’t really satisfied with the answer, and it only brought her a false sense of relief, because she knew there was more that she didn’t understand. She didn’t push her luck though, because she knew she wasn’t going to get more out of her. Phasma had made that clear earlier. 

“I guess that’s good to know,” she responded. 

They walked in silence for a little bit longer until Rey thought of another question. 

“Then what is the point of all of this? If there is no more empire, no more republic, no more war, why protect the sith?” Rey said. 

“You know, I’m not very knowledgeable in the force, or any of your weird feelings, but if I had to guess, Kylo is more intent on protecting the force itself than the sith religion. There have been multiple attacks on the planet to kill force users, it’s a revolution in fear of the empire returning,” Phasma told her, and this seemed to line up closely to what Maz had told her in the past. 

“You ask a lot of questions,” Phasma added. 

“I just want to know what I’m becoming a part of. I’m not exactly knowledgeable on any of this either, or politics at all. I don’t want to be misled, or blindsided at the end of this.”

Phasma stopped in her tracks, turning towards Rey. She dropped hold of the ropes that were connected to the fathier, and Rey copied her actions and stared at her intently. Phasma had a look of sadness on her face, guilt maybe would be a better word to describe it. She took Rey’s hands in hers, causing Rey to look up into her eyes. 

“Rey,” she breathed quietly. 

Rey didn’t dare anything, but stared at the strange interaction that was occurring. 

“Rey, look, this needs to stay between us, but Kylo would never do anything to hurt you. I can promise you that,” She whispered, her look so sincere and gentle. It almost made Rey want to break down. 

“Thanks, I guess. It’s just been a lot lately, and I’m scared,” Rey told her. 

Phasma let go of her hands and kept walking. 

“Don’t be. You can trust him,” She said. 

“I don’t trust him though,” Rey responded. 

“Then trust me, please.” Phasma said, her voice becoming more stern. 

“I’ll try,” Rey said lightly, honestly still in shock of what just happened. There was a hint of promise and desperation in her tone. It struck Rey in a strange way. 

The two kept walking in a comfortable silence, she didn’t realize how far she had run. She was already regretting her escape attempt. 

The fathier that Rey had almost forgotten was with them suddenly made a strange noise, and jumped back on its hind legs. 

“Shit.” Phasma murmured. 

“There is something out here. Here get on,” She told Rey, putting out her hands to help her jump onto the fathiers’ back. Rey then let out her hand to help Phasma up behind her. 

They began to ride away fast, but she could tell the animal was scared by how it was shaking.   
Rey felt a slight tinge of exhilaration from the ride, she had never experienced anything like this before. 

“How can you tell?” Rey yelled, as the fathier strikes through the woods. 

“You know those people I told you about earlier? They only come out at night, and I have a feeling they’re out here,” Phasma yelled back. 

Rey definitely blacked out for a moment, feeling herself move, but not being able to comprehend the action. She felt a sharp pain in her stomach, she winced as she rolled over trying to sit up. 

She somehow ended up on the ground, seeing the fathier to her left, not moving.

She coughed trying to sit up. “Phasma!” She called out.

“Rey, duck!” She heard, and instinctively Rey fell back to the ground.

She noticed something had blasted them, impaling the poor animal. 

As Rey came more too, she looked up, noticing that there were at least four of the same roggwart creatures from earlier surrounding them, along with people dressed in all black, hoods covering their faces. 

Phasma was currently knocking one of the roggwarts back, and Rey noticed another one approaching Phasma’s backside. She used the force to push it back, but her action now gains the attention of the other creatures. 

Luckily, her staff stayed attached to her during the fall, and she grabbed it, hitting one of the creatures directly in the eye. 

More of them seemed to started to surround them, or she just didn’t notice them from before. 

“Got a plan Phasma?” Rey called out, continuing to fling her staff at the beasts.

“Now would be a good time to tap into your new training skills!” Phasma called back, mid slicing down on a roggwart. 

Rey tries to focus, but it was hard to block out the darkness of the planet. Rey felt it humming and vibrating through her skin as she attempted to push multiple of the creatures back, but they were heavy. 

She manages to knock back two of them, and she sees Phasma has sliced off the others’ legs. 

One that Rey had knocked back, comes forward for another charge, so she rams in into a tree, stabbing it’s eye, similar to earlier. 

She turns out of breath, noticing it’s gotten far too quiet. 

Turning around, she sees two of the people holding Phamsa’s arms, her own sword at her throat. 

The two people don’t say anything, don’t even look at her. 

Phasma is squirming, trying to get out of their grasps. 

“Hey hey, stop please. Don’t hurt her.” Rey says, putting down her weapon. 

They still don’t look up, refusing to respond. 

“We’ll leave. We are from the sith castle. We don’t want trouble,” Rey begs, taking slow steps closer to them. 

She hears movement in the background, she has no idea if it’s more roggwarts or if it’s more of these strange people, but she doesn’t move. She focuses only on Phasma in the moment. 

“There is no point in hurting her. We are not your enemy.” Rey adds, noticing the mass of people starting to surround them now. 

The sword tenses on Phasma’s throat, and one of the man’s arms swings back. 

Rey winces slowly, the entire encounter feels as if it’s in slow motion. 

The sword is dropped from his hand, and the man slowly begins to levitate off the ground. 

Confused, Rey looks back, and of course she spots Kylo, mask and all his glory, lightsaber in hand, throwing loyalist after loyalist back. The two men that were on Phasma are now gone, and Kylo’s lightsaber makes its way through a few of the loyalists. 

“You don’t have to kill them!” Rey screams at him. 

“Isn’t that what they were just doing to you two?” He snaps back. 

Phasma is now off the ground, has her sword and is making her way to them. 

The loyalist women and men began to scurry off as Kylo approaches, the cascade of his red saber reflecting off his mask.

“Let’s just get out of here.” Phasma says, giving Rey a stern look. 

Kylo is already leaps and bounds ahead of them as he paces off back to his speeder. 

“We may have to wait a bit,” he says suddenly, a few of the roggwarts making themselves visible from the shadows of the forest. 

“These things just won’t die!” Phasma mutters. 

There are three of them now, and Kylo takes one out easy, lifting it with the force and slicing it through with his saber. Watching his strength and power is almost beautiful, and very distracting.

Rey takes one head on, it’s larger than the other one’s she’s seen. Her staff doesn’t do much damage to the beasts as she knocks it in the head. 

She moves to take him out, but it’s horn scratches her arm. 

The pain takes her concentration away and she’s thrown backwards. It’s head begins to come down on her and she holds its horns with her staff, the only thing keeping it from eating her. 

She hears him before she sees it happen, but Kylo nearly sprints to approach the beast, and as he lifts his saber to impale it, the creature knocks it’s head, throwing him up in the air, hitting one of the many trees. 

“Kylo!” She calls out, getting up and quickly running to him. The creature doesn’t give up as it follows her. Phasma takes this time to knick it’s side with her sword, which slows it down. Rey uses this opportunity to grab Kylo’s lightsaber that now laid next to him on the ground. 

She grabs it and stabs the roggwart through the head, feeling minimal remorse as the giant creature collapses. Rey un-ignites the lightsaber. 

Phasma and Rey are now kneeled at Ren’s side, he’s curled over in pain. His mask was knocked off in the fall. Rey is almost in shock at the sight of him. Despite that picture being however long ago, and her visions of his childhood, she sees the same boy. 

He’s definitely aged a little, but his eyes are still young, and still terribly sad. 

“Ren, are you alright?” Phasma asks, helping him turn over. 

“I’m sorry,” Rey whispers, shaking out of her trance, noticing the gash in his chest from the animal's horns. 

She also realizes he’s bleeding from his face, but the mark that scarred it was definitely already there. The scar covers his eye and brow, going down to his cheek. The mark looks as if it will continue down his chest, but his tunic covers it. 

He opens his eyes and looks at Rey, hearing her sympathy. 

“You gotta stop being so nice all the time,” he laughs, looking up at her for his eyes for the first time. 

It’s then she notices, his eyes are still a deep brown, however they looked almost black in the moonlight. They lacked the yellow glow she was expecting, and now Phasma’s words had made sense. Kylo isn’t a sith, he never was. 

Rey feels Phasma yank her out of her thoughts, Phasma is currently yanking up Kylo, placing his arm around her shoulder. 

“Rey! Grab his helmet. We need to get to the speeder!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Rey and Phasma dynamic is my favorite so far,,, someone please draw them on a fathier together


	7. I Thought You Were Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her eyes widened at this action, the warmth of his touch staining her. 
> 
> “One more thing, Rey?” He said so quietly, she felt as if she was imagining it. 
> 
> “Yeah?”
> 
> “My face? You said you wanted to see it. Were you surprised by it?” He asked, and she couldn’t even believe these words were coming out of his mouth. 
> 
> “Happily surprised,” is all she said, before he let her arm go, and she almost wished he hadn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO! I am so so sorry for the delay in updates. 
> 
> Your girl has had the worst writer's block, and then I was on a little staycation with no internet. I PROMISE TO DO BETTER. 
> 
> This fic has strayed away from my outline, which is okay! But there is so much more I want to explore, especially with Rose and Hux, Finn and Poe, etc! Phasma has been one of my fav characters to write so far. Anyways, I think this fic will probably be around 15-20 chapters. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and sorry for the delay.

Kylo’s speeder was only meant to hold two people, comfortably. 

Phasma was currently at the wheel, and Rey thought she had never seen anyone fly so recklessly in her life. She could tell Phasma was all nerves, despite Kylo’s words of encouragement to calm her down. 

“Phas, I’m fine,” he said again, gritting his teeth after, giving Rey a face. _A face that pretty much said, Do not tell Phasma I am in pain or you will regret it._

Rey had Kylo’s head on her lap and his body was partially on her, he was looking up at her. 

She couldn’t get his face out of her head, she didn’t take her eyes off of him the entire time, she just hoped he didn’t notice. 

His face stayed twisted, and Rey’s arm was putting pressure on the wound on his chest. 

“I’m okay, Rey,” she heard him whisper as if he could read her mind. She gave him a sad look in return. 

“We’re pulling in now,” Phasma called. 

“Rey, you need to hand me my mask, I need to put it on,” He told her. 

She felt her eyebrows lifting at his words in confusion. 

“You have a huge gash on your face, you can’t cover it. You need them to heal you!” She argued. 

“Rey, listen to me. They cannot see my face. I need to be covered. I’ll put bacta on it later myself. I’ll be fine!” He debuted. 

At first, she didn’t really understand, but she shortly realized that she knew he meant his eyes. She figured she wouldn’t be the only one surprised by his appearance. 

She just looked at him for a moment, unsure of what to say. She knew she wanted to talk to him, but mostly she just felt bad because it was her fault that he got hurt, and she knew that. 

If she had never acted so irrational and ran away, this wouldn’t have happened. 

“Rey, I know you have questions, and I’ll answer them, we’ll talk. I promise.” He said. 

“Give him the damn helmet!” Phasma called out, and Rey obliged, giving Kylo a nod. 

\--

Entering the castle felt like a blur. Guards surrounding them, Rey felt as if she needed to run and hide, embarrassed that their master could have died because of her. 

She was whisked off by Phasma and told to wait in her room. Rey felt anxious because of the entire situation, so she decided to use the fresher, feel new again. The warm water fell on her softly, but Rey couldn’t help but scrub her skin raw, even after all the blood was off of her. 

She had watched people die, Kylo almost died, and all of it could’ve been avoided if she didn’t act so rash. 

Rey had shrugged on a black tunic and leggings right before Rose forced her to apply bacta to her few cuts. Rey could tell that her face and arms would be bruised for the next week or so. 

Rey spent the rest of the day roaming back and forth, feeling uneasy. Rose had brought her some food and told her to rest, but she wasn’t able to sleep. She had been awake for nearly 24 hours, but she wasn’t sure how she was feeling, or what she wanted to do with herself. 

She couldn’t quite wrap her head around her discomfort or why she felt so uneasy. Maybe it was because she knew there was a future blowup with Kylo and a discussion she wasn’t sure much would come from. 

She wanted to talk to him, to get answers, explain herself, however, she also knew he was going to be furious with her for leaving and may punish her even. That was the part she was nervous for. She wasn’t even scared of Kylo, she knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but she knew that she made a mistake.

Rey had a right to be angry, she believed that. However, she disobeyed Kylo’s one rule. Despite their arrangement, he gave Rey complete freedom, he gave her independence, and pretty much whatever she wanted. Apparently that wasn’t enough for her. She had to push, and push, of course, he’d snapped. She deserved it. She also deserved whatever quarrel was about to happen between them. 

She thought it might’ve been midday when she heard a knock at her door. She reluctantly got out of bed and was shocked to find Phasma there, who had a bandage wrapped around her waist, still bore her mask though. 

“Phasma. How’re you feeling?” She said, letting a sigh out. 

“I’m fine. He wants to see you. I was sent to retrieve you,” Phasma told her. 

“Oh, all right. Is he alright?” She couldn’t refrain from asking. 

“He will be. He’s running a fever, but he’s being a little bitch about cooperating. He just kept asking for you and I’m sick of listening to him, so let’s go,” she replied, closing the door behind Rey as they left her quarters. 

-

They were outside Kylo’s quarters, and it occurred to Rey at that moment that she had never seen them before. Once Phasma opened the door, it was not at all what she expected. 

She was ready to see a black bed with black walls, and black furniture, and nothing else. She was almost in shock by the carpet, that was bright red beneath her feet, which caused her to realize she was still barefoot. 

The walls were covered in random art, mostly of nature, and the room was decorated in color. Still minimalistic for the most part, but not all steel black and gray like she assumed. 

There was a large canopy bed in the middle of the room, curtains draped over it. 

There was a tall, slender, red-headed man standing next to it, and Kylo in the bed.

“Ah, took you long enough Phas! I’ve been waiting to meet the jedi,” the man retorted. 

“ Hux, give it a rest,” Kylo groaned, attempting to sit up.

“You’re the infamous Hux I’ve heard so much about,” Rey approached them with Phasma. 

“And you’re the girl that shot my leg. It’s a pleasure,” he smiled, putting a hand out to her. 

She took it, now feeling slightly embarrassed. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. In my defense, You did swing first,” Rey joked. 

She could’ve sworn that she heard Kylo chuckle. 

“Debatable,” Hux replied. 

Rey was finally close enough to see Kylo. 

He was lying shirtless in his bed, bandages, and wraps around his whole torso. There were stitches and a few bandages on his face. He looked sweaty, and just as sleep-deprived as she. 

Rey supposes she was studying him for too long because Hux interrupted her thoughts. 

“He looks great, doesn’t he. The other scar will look nice next to the other one,” Hux teased. 

“Hux, shut up!” Phasma pitched in. 

“As much as I’m loving this conversation, could you two give us a minute?” Kylo said, surprisingly nice. 

Rey didn’t want to make eye contact with him, as if that would make this coming conversation less awkward. 

“Sure. Put the mask back on though, Ren, I’m tired of seeing your face,” Hux got one last punch in and wrapped an arm around Phasma playfully and began to head for the door. 

“Oh fuck off, Armitage,” Kylo shouted back, a small smirk on his face. 

“You should put yours back on too!” Rey felt the need to say, nodding her head towards the guards' helmet he was carrying. 

Hux, who has already turned around, and who’s actions were shortly followed by Phasma’s, his face grew to a shit-eating grin. 

“Keep her around Ren, I like her,” he said and gave him a quick wink before finally leaving. 

She finally turned towards Kylo, as if waiting for him to speak. 

“Wow, Hux seems to like you,” he said, breaking the ice. 

“I’m surprised. I heard he was an ass,” Rey replied. 

“Oh he is, but a good friend. Puts up a pretentious front, but he truly is just a sarcastic dork,” he added. 

Rey nodded, not sure what to do. She felt slightly uncomfortable with the awkward silence between them. 

“We should have a conversation,” he finally said. 

“Well, I figured that,” she replied. 

She found herself taking a seat next to his bed, there was a small chair there, where she assumed Hux had been before. 

“I’m sorry for lashing out at you. But why did you leave?” He questioned, his face was sweating and looked swollen; which only made Rey’s guilt grow. 

Kylo had a face that Rey had never seen before. He looked almost hurt by her leaving, offended. His tone was the opposite of angry, it was understanding and sincere- that in itself surprised her. She could hardly believe she heard an apology out of his mouth.

“Well you did tell me to get out,” she said quietly. 

“Of the basement, not the planet. What you did was incredibly stupid, and-“ he was interrupted by his own coughing, Kylo tried to sit up. 

She reached out towards him to help him out. He was really warm. 

“Are you okay? Should I call a med droid?” She asked. 

“No, I’m fine.” He retorted. Rey felt his forehead. 

He practically flinched at her touch, but slowly settled into it. The expression on his face made her want to cry. He closed his eyes gently as she put her palm on his brow as if he was comforted by her hand.

“You’re burning up. Let me get you a towel,” Rey said. 

She found her way to his fresher and grabbed a small rag, drenching it in cool water. 

“This is a breach of privacy, and you’re avoiding my questions!” He called out. 

“I’m not trying to! But you look awful,” she called. 

“It’s your fault, technically,” he said, with a groan. Laying back down fully. 

Rey knew he meant it as a joke, but it did hurt. She did feel really awful. He had a wound and she came out of the battle pretty unscathed, especially in comparison to him.

“You know I am sorry about all this, truly,” she said, putting the towel on his forehead. 

“I’m so sorry,” she repeated. 

“Don’t apologize. It happens. Just tell me why you left,” he said. 

She could not help but stare into his eyes, which looked so hurt and damaged. He had no anger anymore, just sadness. That was something she wanted to ask him about too. 

She hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed beside him. Earning a look that Rey didn’t notice. 

“I don’t know. I was scared and pissed off. I needed to be alone. I know it was irrational and stupid, but I just felt like I needed more from you, and I didn’t know how to get there or even ask you without fighting. I'm not great at expressing my feelings.” 

“I guess we both have anger issues and are incredibly stubborn,” he sighed. 

“It won’t happen again, I’m sorry,” she added. 

“Look, I should apologize too. I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that with you, it scared me more that you left. I thought I was going to find you dead,” he told her. 

His face still looked so sad, and Rey had a million things she wanted to say to him. 

“I would’ve been, if it weren’t for Phasma,” Rey admitted. 

“Gosh, remind me to give her a raise,” Kylo laughed slightly, which caused Rey to smile. 

“She’s really amazing,” Rey told him. 

“Yeah, she’s my closest friend. Very serious, and tough to crack, but I love her,” Kylo said. 

Rey’s hand was still on his forehead, dancing lightly at the sweat. 

“I don’t think you’ve ever told me this much about yourself,” Rey laughed lightly. 

“I’m fairly private,” Kylo remarked. 

“I've gathered. It’s just, I have so many things I want to know. I know I have no right to even want to know, but after seeing your portrait, and the visions, I’ve noticed a difference in you,” she said a lot of things, hoping he’d pick up on them. 

“Okay, okay. How have I been different?” He said. 

“I know you noticed it when I first got here. Our connection in the force, or just the feeling. It’s warm and very strong. When I was with you the first few days, I couldn’t even sense the darkness of the planet. Then during training, you were hiding your force signature, more and more each time, so of course, I had questions, but also the darkness of the planet started getting to me,” she breathed out, feeling a sense of relief once she had finished. 

Kylo’s face was hard to read, he looked concerned nonetheless, but almost regretful. He never stopped looking at her. 

“I wish you had expressed that to me, instead of accusing me. But the truth is, I did notice our connection, and I wanted to research it. I needed to know what it was,” he told her. 

“Well, I could’ve helped! You should’ve just told me,” Rey replies. 

“I didn’t want to scare you, I thought you’d be freaked out, and leave. But I guess that happened anyways,” he said. 

“Well, you did startle me in the basement. I’m sorry for going in there. But why would I be scared, what did you find?” Rey asked. 

“Nothing yet. I have a few theories, but they’re very rare, and there’s not a lot of information on them,” Kylo answered, almost too quickly. He sounded so suspicious to her, but she decided it wasn’t a good time to press him. 

“Why were you in the basement?” Kylo added. 

“I’ll admit, I did go down there a few times. I heard there was a portrait of you, and I was- curious. But then I started reading some of the books. However, I told myself I wouldn’t go down there anymore, but when you found me there, I felt called there, by soft voices, that’s when I had the visions.” 

“The visions of me?” He questioned. 

“Yes, as a child, a teenager, practically your whole life,” Rey told him, “just flashes,” she added. 

He nodded slightly, his eyes looked heavy. 

“And obviously the vision led me to have more questions like you weren’t here your whole life or part of the dark side. Were you kidnapped?” She asked. 

“As a young child, yes. I escaped though, but once I got home, it wasn’t much better, to be honest. So I ran away again, ended up getting taken again after a few years on my own, taken here,” he told her, his voice was quiet, and he was slow to answer, she assumed he was choosing his words carefully. 

“I’m sorry.” She wasn’t sure what else to say. 

He just gave her another look, with soft eyes. His face still looked so young despite its knowledge and experience. 

“Ben. Your name, was it Ben?” She regretted the question almost immediately, of course, that was his name.

His eyes widened at that. 

He cleared his throat, “That used to be my name, a long time ago. I’m sorry, I haven’t heard it in years,” he said to her. 

“Sorry I won’t call you that. I just kept getting Ben flashed in my head,” she shrugged. 

His eyes were opening and closing a lot. She knew he was tired. 

“Are you okay? You look tired,” Rey asked. 

“I’ll be alright. I’m just tired. I don’t get much sleep typically. We can finish this conversation later if that’s alright,” he gave her a brief smile. 

“Sure,” she whispered, placing the rag on his nightstand. 

She was turning around when he grabbed her hand, causing her to turn back around 

Her eyes widened at this action, the warmth of his touch staining her. 

“One more thing, Rey?” He said so quietly, she felt as if she was imagining it. 

“Yeah?”

“My face? You said you wanted to see it. Were you surprised by it? By how I looked?” He asked, and she couldn’t even believe these words were coming out of his mouth. 

“Happily surprised,” is all she said before he let her arm go, and she almost wished he hadn’t. 

She knew she shouldn’t care, but the last few moments with him he hadn’t been hiding his force signature, and the feeling that came with it comforted Rey to a new degree. No more ringing or screams, just him and her. She could live with that. 

She looked back at his sleeping face once before she left, she knew everything was going to work out. It had to. He was growing on her. 

—-

Hours later, Kylo had woken up panting and a thirst that nothing could quench. 

After struggling to sit up, he chugged the glass of water that sat on his nightstand, spilling a good amount of it on his chest. 

He had barely been able to stand up, but forced himself to the fresher, giving himself a long look in the mirror before placing bacta on his face. 

He traced his fingers over the new scar lightly, he hated it, but not as much as the first. At least this one had a good reason and wasn’t a mark of abuse from an old master. 

This scar was nothing if it meant he saved Rey. 

He almost didn’t recognize himself, he looked old, he thought to himself. Tired and aging. Better than before maybe, less swollen and sweaty. He had to have been asleep for at least 4 or 5 hours, which was more than he received on a good night. 

A knock on his door distracted him from his thoughts. He didn’t even respond and was about to yell until he was Phasma coming in. 

“You need to replace your bandages on your stomach and chest,” she told him. 

“Just send in a med droid,” he told her 

“No, we’re going to talk,” Phasma replied. 

He didn’t bother arguing, he knew it would get him nowhere with her. 

“You shouldn’t even be standing,” she scolded. 

“I’m fine!” He said, beginning to unwrap his bands. 

“So did you tell her?” Phasma asked 

“No,” he admitted. 

“Why not?” She kept pressing while helping him undo the bandages. 

“Because that’s a lot to drop on a person. What am I supposed to say? Oh by the way, did you know I saved your life when you were a child, and, oh, we may be soulmates in the force?” 

Phasma laughed at him. 

“You sound like a 15-year-old boy. She deserves to know,” Phasma said, “besides, it will probably make her like you more,” she added. 

“I’m not even sure it’s true yet and I don’t care if she likes me,” he replied. 

“Oh sure, you don’t. You have a schoolboy crush on her, and you’re too scared of how she’ll react, that’s exactly why you won’t tell her.” 

“Look, even if we are a dyad in the force and my research is right, that doesn’t mean we are meant to be together. It just means that together we could do incredibly powerful things with the force,” he explains. 

A dyad was something he’d actually heard of. However, all he knew was that it was a powerful bond, like life itself, two people whose souls are one. He never got far enough in his sith training to know any more. He did know that the sith, many masters before him, had tried to master it with other dark force users, trying to create a bond, but it wasn’t like that. 

It was a natural occurrence, a will of the force only, and it seemed as if he was the only one who truly understood that. 

“Either way, you should be honest. You should also tell her how you know her Wookie,” she was finishing wrapping his new bandage now. 

“That will be an even weirder story,” he said, sitting down on the edge of his bed. 

“Oh that her father figure is your dad’s best friend? And how he’s practically your uncle? Or the part that your whole family probably knows about her? I guess that is strange. Sounds like fate to me,” Phasma said. 

“You are so annoying,” Kylo said. 

“Maybe, but I’m right. She’ll probably feel better knowing all of this,” she added. 

“For what reason? I told her I’d train her, that doesn’t change anything,” he said. 

“Perhaps. But you should just tell her about your real plan? Your plan to get rid of all this dark side crap and be balanced in the force, or whatever you call it? She’d probably be down for that if you ask me,” she said. 

“I get what you’re saying Phas, but that’s also kind of a huge offer. I need to clean a lot of things up before starting my own temple. The whole thought of it is complicated, and I don’t even know if it’ll work,” he told her. 

“We’re gonna help you! You know that!” 

“The galaxy is terrified of force users. I need to prove that we’re on their side. It’s much more complicated than you think,” he tells her. 

“What else is there?” Phasma asked. 

“The sith loyalist guards, the jedi hunters, I’d have to find a way to end all of it,” Kylo tells her. 

“But you don’t want to be a jedi?” Phasma says. 

“You’re right, I don’t. But to them, it’s no different. They don’t want anyone to have the force, it outcasts them.” 

“You need to tell her still, all of it. Your plans, how you got here, all of it,” Phasma continues to nag. 

“Why? It’s so far away, it’ll make no difference!” 

“She’ll trust you.” 

Kylo lays back down momentarily, he wants Rey to trust him, but he didn’t want to catch her off guard like this. He had promised to train her and that was all. He can’t just tell her his plans and expect her to be okay with it, or even be eager to help. She’s new with the force, and he hasn’t heard of any other force users in the galaxy, so it’d pretty much be up to them.   
If he did tell her he’d have to give her the option to leave or even just finish their training and that’s it. 

He had hoped that her training would allow her to want to stay, but he couldn’t make her. That was never the plan. 

“By the way, the guards are gossiping a little too much about your treatment of Rey, so I’d just be careful. I expect you to punish her or something to get them to shut up,” Phasma added. 

“Great, another thing to worry about,” he sighed, laying down. 

“I’ll be back with food,” Phasm says while turning around to leave. 

He had a lot to think about, and he had to plan carefully how he was going to execute this plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Hux as Ben's annoying best friend, so I hope you enjoy it lol. :)


	8. The Galaxy is Small

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I hope there is still some of you left :( 
> 
> I am so sorry for the lack of chapters and for not posting for 3 months. I was having some health complications and life just really got the best of me. I am finally feeling motivated again, and have much more time and motivation to finish this story. 
> 
> Please don't give up on me yet. 
> 
> This chapter is dialogue-heavy, but I needed to get out a lot of information and background for the story to make sense, so hope you enjoy it. Thanks so much for reading.

Rey had a quiet few days. Since Kylo was injured, there was clearly no training for her to be had. 

She still did some workouts in her room, she made sure to stay sharp and light on her feet, she felt like she couldn’t quite let herself get comfortable. 

Her mind kept going back to her and Kylo’s conversation. He was out of it, she knows that, but she almost felt like there was something there she hadn’t realized before. Rey was starting to realize that maybe his intentions weren’t all bad, maybe he wanted to protect her. He was so quick to save her in the forest, that had to mean something. 

She was not expecting to get a knock at her door midday while she attempted to meditate, and to her surprise, waiting behind the door was Hux, looking cheeky and almost suspicious. 

“Oh, hi Hux.” She said, trying to sound less uneasy by his appearance in her room. 

“Sorry to bother you. Ren wanted me to come to get you,” he told her. 

The mention of Kylo made her perk up slightly, she felt more comfortable at the idea of meeting with him. She paused briefly. 

“Alright, let me put my shoes on,” she told him and he waited for her. 

The two walked in awkward silence for a few minutes before Hux decided he wasn’t comfortable with the lack of conversation. 

“You didn’t need to bring your staff, you know,” he chuckled slightly. 

“I like to be prepared,” she replied quickly.

“You really don’t trust us?” Hux added. She assumed that by ‘us’ he was referencing himself, Phasma, Rose, maybe Finn and Poe, and probably Kylo.

He looked down at Rey with a disgusted scowl, like her lack of trust offended him, but his face was still light with humor. 

“Considering I’ve met you one time, no I don’t trust you,” she responded. He snorted at her response. Rey began to believe that Hux was too easy to entertain. 

“Do you trust Ren?” He asked. 

She felt herself straighten, her posture becoming stiff, glaring up at him with a look that could kill. 

“I don’t trust many people, and it doesn't come easily,” she said in a monotone voice. 

“Sure. Do you at least trust Rose?” Hux questioned again. 

The mention of Rose made her think of a previous conversation, where Poe and Finn had been poking fun at Hux’s crush on Rose.

“For the most part. I know you do though,” she teased. 

“That’s a low-blow, Jedi,” he rolled his eyes. 

“Poe and Finn filled me in,” she told him. 

“Bastards!” He murmured, and it made Rey laugh. 

They had been walking for a while and she realized they were heading towards Kylo’s room. 

“For what it’s worth, Rose definitely has a soft spot for you,” Rey said to him. 

“Oh is that so?” She looked up at Hux and noticed his face was turning red.

“I mean that’s my best guess. She gets all embarrassed and almost turns brighter than you look right now,” she told him. 

He didn’t say anything at first, but he had a slight smirk on his face that made Rey feel like a kid again. She imagined young teenagers would have conversations like this, embarrassed by affection. The glow on Hux’s face was a new thing for Rey, she wanted to feel like that one day, she thought. 

Hux cleared his throat, “Maybe, just maybe, you should trust people until they give you a reason not to,” he tells her. 

“My upbringing didn’t exactly allow me to do that. Trust was a choice of life or death,” she told him. 

“Well, you’re here now. You should try it,” he said, they were now approaching Kylo’s door. 

He didn’t even knock before entering, which Rey found odd. As they ventured farther into the room, there was no Kylo in the bed. 

“Where is he?” Rey asked. 

“He wanted to show you something. Only himself, Phasma, and I know about this place. It’s sacred to him,” Hux said, leading her over to a large mirror in Kylo’s room. 

“Why would he want to show me then?” Rey asked, following Hux still. 

Hux stopped dead in his tracks, turning his head to face Rey, who was shortly behind. His face was full of amusement, his left eyebrow bent. 

“Perhaps, Ren just has a soft spot for you.” 

“Oh shut up.” Rey rolled her eyes at his attempt to copy her joke. 

“Now, before we enter, you have to promise that you will not tell anyone about this place.”

Rey looked at the mirror with a confused look, “Alright, I promise.” 

Hux nodded at her in response and pulled open the mirror, but it took quite a lot of force. 

The mirror creaked open like a door, and behind it was what appeared to be a hallway, no light was visible and much like the rest of the castle, it was covered in stone. Great, another mysterious dark hallway, Rey thought. 

“After you,” Hux smirked again, leaving way for her. 

She gripped her staff close to her chest and entered. 

Hux closed the mirror behind them and she eased in slightly, and upon further observation realized that the hallway was very small and didn’t go back far. There was a wooden door amongst the grey stone. Rey pushed forward the doorknob, it creaked open a little too quickly. 

The light nearly blinded Rey, as it was far from what she was expecting. Greenery and trees were covering what appeared to be a garden. 

She had so many questions, but once she spotted Kylo she thought she was dreaming. 

He was propped up against a slight fence, wearing a brown shirt, that was left unbuttoned, leaving the bandages around his torso exposed. 

He turned fully around by the noise of the door, his eyes growing wide upon seeing her. 

“Armitage, I thought you were going to wait in my quarters!” Kylo raised his voice but attempted to mask the anger or embarrassment his voice held. 

“I figured that’s what you meant, but Phasma made me do this, I’ll see you later,” Hux spoke quickly, and ran away faster than she could even comprehend. 

“Uhm, I’m sorry. I’ll wait in your room if you’d like,” Rey says, turning around. 

“No, it’s fine. The sun will do you good,” He says, calmer now, gesturing to her to come and stand by him. 

She hesitantly made her way over to him. He looked marvelous without his helmet, his face bruised but far less swollen than before, and his skin glowed paler than ever, even against the harsh light. 

Rey took a moment to take everything in around her. This was the only part of the planet she witnesses that wasn’t dark, it didn’t feel cold, and there was no wind. Flowers of all colors surrounded them, every inch of the place was covered in green and plants. It reminded Rey of Takodana, of her home. 

Kylo admired her amazement at the garden. He couldn’t help but stare at her, he tried to be subtle, but Rey noticed his side-eye. 

“It’s strange, isn’t it? All this life on this dead planet,” he said, breaking the ice. 

She looked at him again, and he was now focused on the foliage instead of her. 

“It’s breathtaking. I’m confused about how it’s so light here,” Rey said to him. 

“Look up,” Kylo told her, and Rey did. 

She realized that they were still indoors, surrounded by castle walls, but covered in ivy and other plants. The ceiling had a skylight, and one bright shining star came through. 

“What are the odds of the star coming through like that?” Rey replies. 

“Well the light from it reaches this corner of the planet briefly, however, most is covered by castle walls and not seen by many. I discovered this place a few years ago, I have no idea who created it. I’ve come here for peace and whenever I want to be alone, without the mask,” he tells her, breathing heavily.

“It truly is remarkable.”

Kylo shifted slightly, and put his weight against the fence, he seemed like he was struggling, but kept his ground. 

“As much as I do love this place, it’s not why I brought you here. I thought we should continue our conversation from the other day and the future of your training,” he told her. 

She faced him now, his scar becoming visible to her. It was freshly stitched closed, and she felt like it was her fault that he had another permanent mark on his face. 

“I agree. How much of that conversation do you remember, you were a tad out of it,” she asked. 

“Ah, that I was. I remember our conversation about our force connection and me researching it, as well as your visions. Was there anything else?” 

Rey scoffed to herself lightly, thinking back to when he basically asked her if she thought he was attractive. “So you don’t remember asking me what I thought of your unmasked face?” She said, crossing her arms. 

He looked at her confused, his cheeks going pink, which was fairly easy to spot since he was so flushed. 

“You’re kidding, right?” He asked, looking mortified. 

“I am not,” Rey smirked slightly, she was enjoying this a little too much. 

“I blame the med droids and all the drugs they kept pumping me with,” He said, sounding unsure of himself, and he ran a hand through his hair. 

“It’s okay. You don’t need to be embarrassed.” 

She began to feel somewhat bad for teasing him, he was in a vulnerable state and did save her life, so perhaps she should ease off of him. 

“Well, what did you say?” He asked, which caught Rey by surprise. His tone was dead serious. 

“Ha, uh well I said I was pleasantly surprised, I think it’s a great image of you,” Rey responded. 

Kylo was now clutching his rib cage, shifting his weight once again. “I mean, it’s well done. But I didn’t like what it represented.” 

“Can I ask you a question? If you promise not to get mad?” Rey asked him. 

“Sure, you’ve already seen the worst of me. What else do I have to lose?” He chuckled lightly. 

“I realize you need to hide your face because you’re not a sith, hence the lack of glowing creepy yellow eyes, but why didn’t you use to have a mask?” She asked. She didn’t think it was too deep of a question. 

“Well, it used to not matter that I wasn’t a sith due to the fact I was an apprentice of one. When I killed the last master, it was assumed I was a sith as well. All sith apprentices eventually kill their masters, as a sign of readiness. I wasn’t ready, I just wanted to be free of him. I am able to bear the mask due to the unfortunate scar my master gave me. It’s an excuse,” He explained. Rey was fascinated by the idea of him having a life that was different than this one. The big bad scary Kylo Ren was once a teenager, and scared. It was weird to think of him like that, but it caused an enormous amount of empathy to grow around Rey. 

Kylo was this marble of a man, but inside was a broken boy. Yes, he had done bad things, but deep down, Rey truly believed he wasn’t a bad person, and the visions she saw of him proved it to her. His life had been filled with a feeling of abandonment and abuse. She saw herself in him, in many ways. No one saved him, as Chewie had done with her. She often wonders what she would’ve become if she had stayed on Jakku, maybe even worse than Kylo. 

“Have you ever thought of leaving?” Rey asked. 

“Of course, but it’s more complicated than that. The sith loyalist troopers will not let me leave easily, and I especially couldn’t leave the few allies, the few friends I have here. It’d be impossible to take them all with me. The sith loyalists expect me to train you to be their next leader. It’s why they’ve eased off of me slightly,” he told her, and Rey felt a pit in her stomach. 

Kylo had escaped his abuser, twice, but was still stuck with the life he was forced into. 

“So is that what you’re doing? Training me to replace you, and then what?” Her tone came off more defensive than she intended. 

His face was sad, he looked almost disappointed that she would think that. 

“Rey, I would never do that to you. The path of the dark side isn’t one I’d wish on anyone, especially you.” 

“Then why are you training me, what is this about?” She repeated. 

He paused briefly as if trying to find the right words. “Have you ever felt like you were meant for something more than a normal life? Like you had a responsibility to change something or make a difference?” He asked her. 

Her eyebrows furrowed in thought, she thought back to the torturous life of Jakku, and the predictable days of Takodana.   
“Yes actually,” She thought, she remembered something that shaped her to this day. 

“Tell me about it.” 

She felt hesitant at first but gave in. Hopefully, this conversation was getting them somewhere. 

“Well, when I was a younger child, maybe eight or so, I was scavenging on Jakku. I had fallen down a shaft and hurt myself. I thought I was going to die, I truly did. I was ready for it. But then this young man, he saved me. I never saw his face, but he had healed me with the force, which I understand now. That day made me a survivor. I wanted to treat others with kindness, and generosity. I thought I owed it to the universe to do that, that I needed to make the second chance at life count,” she explained, taking a deep breath and holding back a few tears as she told that story. 

It has never been easy for her to open up to people, but the fact that she had quite literally been in his mind made her feel comfortable, but at the same time vulnerable. 

Kylo just looked at her, in a way she had never seen from him. He was lost in thought, on the verge of speaking it seemed. 

“I didn’t realize you remembered that,” he said to her. 

“What?” She was now confused. 

“Do you remember the first day we met, and I had gone into your head?”

“How could I forget?” She remarked, rolling her eyes slightly. 

“No, Rey, you don’t understand,” he said, getting up to face her. 

“Do you remember what I said to you?” he added. 

She shook her head in confusion. 

“That day, I was so intrigued by you because I felt the draw from the force. Venturing into your thoughts made me realize I knew you, from somewhere. Jakku, that day, I saved you when I was a teenager.”

It made more sense now to Rey, the familiarity of his eyes, the warmth of their force connection. 

She didn’t know what to say. She had always thought that day was fate, a will of the force letting her live, now she knew why. 

“I don’t know what to say.” 

“The galaxy is small when it wants to be,” Kylo said. 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I figured you had forgotten about it, but I also didn’t want you to feel like you owe me anything. I wanted you to train with me because you wanted me to.”

“Why is training me so important?”

“Ever since I was a kid, I had been training in the force. It runs in my family. However, I always felt isolated in my abilities. My family has a complicated history in the light and dark side of the force, and growing up, I realized I was drawn to both.” 

“Isn’t that a good thing? Balance?” Rey interrupted. 

“At the time I thought it was bad to have a connection with the dark side, but in reality, I was just feeling guilty. After I ran away from home, I traveled the galaxy trying to survive, I wasn’t sure what to do with my life. I had never felt more alone,” he paused briefly, looking down at his hands. 

“I had always felt out of place. My family trained my force abilities, but I had to keep them hidden for so long. Being a force user came with many responsibilities, and one of those was hiding from the Jedi-hunters. I had been sold and kidnapped for my power as a child, then when I came home my parents didn’t know what to do with me. There was all this untamed power, and they had gotten used to their lives without a son by the time I returned. When I was off on my own, in Jakku among other places, I realized that I could help people like me, make it safe again.” 

“Train other force-sensitive people into Jedi?” Rey asked. 

“No, the Jedi were deeply flawed individuals. They had good intentions but went about it wrong. The sith are the opposite. I want to make the galaxy safe for force-users again. Train a new generation of Jedi in the balanced nature of the force, darkness, and light. I guess, I thought you were a good place to start,” he told her. 

Rey really had to take this all in. She couldn’t believe this conversation was real. She did enjoy the feeling that her intuition of Kylo was correct. 

“Why me though?” She added. 

With no hesitation, Kylo replies, “There’s a lot you don’t know, but our paths have crossed for many reasons. I know I’m rash, and a lot of the time I don’t know what I’m doing, but will you help me?” Kylo says, reaching out his hand to her. He flinches at his own movement, holding onto his torso tightly with his other hand. 

“Yes, I’ll help you.” Rey grabs Kylo’s hand gently. 

“And, Ben. You’re not alone anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3  
> also sorry if this chapter felt fast or rushed their development. There are so many details to the story, but I promise there is angst and lots of sexual tension coming up, as well as some focus on the other relationships in the story (such as ginger-rose, and finnpoe)   
> twitter: lighttkylo  
> insta: darkreyy

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
